Friday, May 16, 2008

105 degrees and 10 pounds

It's 105 degrees here in 'lovely' Sacraghetto... and it's only May!

Opening your back door is liking getting a hot fart in the face. Even at 4:30am this morning, as I headed to the gym, there was little relief: the temperature in my car said 71. The air conditioning seems to never go off even though I have it set to 78 degrees (God, I'm dreading this month's electric bill) and even the dogs seem to look at me cross-eyed when I suggest we go outside.

I thought I had got over the 100+ shock but I realize now that heat tolerance (for me at least) is very closely linked to poundage - my poundage. Since I've gained about 10 pounds in recent months, I'm feeling very uncomfortable in my own skin right now - add to this the oppressive heat, sweating, needing to wear less clothing. Yuck. There is just nothing worse than sweat between rolls of fat. (Sorry if this is TMI but, you know, it's what's going on with me right now so you're just going to have to wear it.) Even though I've been on Slimfast for 10 days, I've only lost a pound or two and it's not far enough fast enough, especially since I'm contemplating all women's dreaded summer ritual: choosing a swimsuit that doesn't make you look like cottage cheese stuffed into a sausage skin.

Maybe this will help: Hubbie and I are going to try a gluten/wheat-free diet for one week next week.

Hubbie has always had stomach issues (it's genetic) and finds it generally hard to keep food in, and I've always had weight issues (it's genetic) and find it generally hard to eat anything resembling a normal person's diet without blowing up like a balloon. So, unless they can create a Fat Bank that allows me to slice off some leg fat and donate it to Hubbie's butt, we're going to try the gluten-free thing. (Incidentally, if you know of such a bank, please forward details pronto.)

E of Gurly Life fame is already on this diet and I've met some others throughout my life who also swear that this has turned their weight and/or digestive system around. So, I'm interested to see if it will work for us.

I've done some reading-up on what we'll have to deprive ourselves of and, although the list is substantially more extensive than this, here's a small taster:

  • Instant chocolate drink mixes - a problem for me since I love my Cadbury's 40 calorie Highlights)
  • Whole wheat, enriched, or white bread, rolls, or bread crumbs - a problem for both me and Hubster since we both love bread. Hubbie particularly is going to have to figure out WHAT to order at the drive-thru now he cannot have a bun or a tortilla.
  • Cereals made from farina, wheat, or those with wheat products or malt added - boo hoo, I love my cereal.
  • Cakes, pastries, commercial frosting, icing, ice cream, sherbet, ice cream cones - are you kidding me? It's 105 degrees people! Yikes, this one could be hard.
  • Cookies, prepared mixes, or packaged pudding containing wheat flour - did you know my nickname is "The Cookie Monster"?
  • Any salad dressing thickened or gravy with wheat flour or products - I'm guessing this just about eliminates all the salad dressings in the regular grocery aisle. Can you believe this? Even salad, that good-ole staple of every woman's pre-bikini diet, could be an issue.
  • All breaded or floured meats, meats containing filler such as meatloaf, frankfurters, sausage, luncheon meats, bologna, or prepared meat patties - Um... so now there's no bun and no meat patty for Hubbie? What will he survive on? Plus frankfurters? Now that's just not fair. Take away my childhood foods why don't you. :(
  • Noodles, spaghetti, macaroni, and other pasta products prepared with wheat or semolina flour - not that we eat much pasta but just the thought of not being able to makes me want to head out to Macaroni Grill this weekend and mac-out.
  • Chocolates, chocolate candy containing malt, candy with cereal extract - haha! No late-night tv-binges for Hubbie. I don't eat chocolate, so I'm gloating here.
  • Soy sauce - waaaaaaaaaaaa? What do we put on the rice?

So, based on this, it's easy to see that this has the potential not to last any longer than our one week trial unless we both experience a substantial physical epiphany. We'll try, but I just don't know.

I'll let you know how it goes...


e said...

Well. This is The Gurly Life, who has been dealing with this for a few years.

First, it is possible that Joss has celiac disease. I don't know, but it might be the problem. You yourself might have a wheat intolerance, which might explain your difficulty keeping weight off. I had the same problem. Note that I said had. Now I'm like a normal person. It's not easy to lose weight, but I don't gain 5lbs when I eat a scoop of ice cream.

You can eat all the rice and potatoes you want. I'm a particuarly ardent fan of french fries, for example.

What this will force you to do is to prepare food, and the base will be veggies and fresh meats/fish. Nothing packaged, processed, pre-prepared. Which is not good for you, anyway. There is rice pasta, and rice bread. Whole Foods sells gluten-free pizza and pizza dough (frozen), there are gluten free pancake mixes, cake mixes, brownie mixes. It's not that difficult to pretty much eat the same stuff that other people eat, you just need to pay more attention. Bob's Red Mill (you can find them online) has a number of excellent gluten free products.

Anyway, there is a ton of information out there, more than you will ever need. If it looks like you want to try this for longer, I get a monthly email, I can forward you one and then you can decide if you'd like to subscribe.

It takes a while to adjust, so a week might not be long enough, you might end up just suffering and not getting the benefits. It takes about 2-3 weeks for celiacs to feel well when they get off gluten, so if Joss really wants to see if this is an issue for him, I suggest trying this for more than one week. But even in one week you might start feeling some benefits.

I am often asked how I do it, because to most people it just occurs like this terrible sacrifice. I tell them that I get no joy from being bloated and gassy all the time, having an extended and painful stomach, feeling tired and sluggish, having mysterious itches and terrible sinus headaches. Giving up bread and pasta etc. is a small price to pay to feel good. For me, it's total freedom.

Of course, like I said, it takes a little getting used to.

I'm interested to know how it goes. And if you have any questions at all, please feel free to call me! Have fun, and I sure hope this is the problem for Joss, cos it's so easy to solve. Keeping my fingers crossed.

e said...

Oh, and once I stopped eating all the bread and the pasta and the pastries, I actually realized HOW MUCH GREAT FOOD there is to eat out there, that I was missing cos I was stuffing my face with bread. Who knew?

e said...

Ok, one more thing, and then I'll go away. Chocolate is fine, if it's excellent quality, like Belgian chocolate. Not that Hershey crap. The good stuff.

TravelVixen said...

Thanks e. Hubbie will be very happy that some chocolate is ok.

Can you explain the difference between wheat allergy and celiac's disease? Or point me in the direction of a good resource?

Yes, I'd like to see your newsletter.

Related Posts with Thumbnails