Opening your back door is liking getting a hot fart in the face. Even at 4:30am this morning, as I headed to the gym, there was little relief: the temperature in my car said 71. The air conditioning seems to never go off even though I have it set to 78 degrees (God, I'm dreading this month's electric bill) and even the dogs seem to look at me cross-eyed when I suggest we go outside.
I thought I had got over the 100+ shock but I realize now that heat tolerance (for me at least) is very closely linked to poundage - my poundage. Since I've gained about 10 pounds in recent months, I'm feeling very uncomfortable in my own skin right now - add to this the oppressive heat, sweating, needing to wear less clothing. Yuck. There is just nothing worse than sweat between rolls of fat. (Sorry if this is TMI but, you know, it's what's going on with me right now so you're just going to have to wear it.) Even though I've been on Slimfast for 10 days, I've only lost a pound or two and it's not far enough fast enough, especially since I'm contemplating all women's dreaded summer ritual: choosing a swimsuit that doesn't make you look like cottage cheese stuffed into a sausage skin.
Maybe this will help: Hubbie and I are going to try a gluten/wheat-free diet for one week next week.
Hubbie has always had stomach issues (it's genetic) and finds it generally hard to keep food in, and I've always had weight issues (it's genetic) and find it generally hard to eat anything resembling a normal person's diet without blowing up like a balloon. So, unless they can create a Fat Bank that allows me to slice off some leg fat and donate it to Hubbie's butt, we're going to try the gluten-free thing. (Incidentally, if you know of such a bank, please forward details pronto.)
E of Gurly Life fame is already on this diet and I've met some others throughout my life who also swear that this has turned their weight and/or digestive system around. So, I'm interested to see if it will work for us.
I've done some reading-up on what we'll have to deprive ourselves of and, although the list is substantially more extensive than this, here's a small taster:
- Instant chocolate drink mixes - a problem for me since I love my Cadbury's 40 calorie Highlights)
- Whole wheat, enriched, or white bread, rolls, or bread crumbs - a problem for both me and Hubster since we both love bread. Hubbie particularly is going to have to figure out WHAT to order at the drive-thru now he cannot have a bun or a tortilla.
- Cereals made from farina, wheat, or those with wheat products or malt added - boo hoo, I love my cereal.
- Cakes, pastries, commercial frosting, icing, ice cream, sherbet, ice cream cones - are you kidding me? It's 105 degrees people! Yikes, this one could be hard.
- Cookies, prepared mixes, or packaged pudding containing wheat flour - did you know my nickname is "The Cookie Monster"?
- Any salad dressing thickened or gravy with wheat flour or products - I'm guessing this just about eliminates all the salad dressings in the regular grocery aisle. Can you believe this? Even salad, that good-ole staple of every woman's pre-bikini diet, could be an issue.
- All breaded or floured meats, meats containing filler such as meatloaf, frankfurters, sausage, luncheon meats, bologna, or prepared meat patties - Um... so now there's no bun and no meat patty for Hubbie? What will he survive on? Plus frankfurters? Now that's just not fair. Take away my childhood foods why don't you. :(
- Noodles, spaghetti, macaroni, and other pasta products prepared with wheat or semolina flour - not that we eat much pasta but just the thought of not being able to makes me want to head out to Macaroni Grill this weekend and mac-out.
- Chocolates, chocolate candy containing malt, candy with cereal extract - haha! No late-night tv-binges for Hubbie. I don't eat chocolate, so I'm gloating here.
- Soy sauce - waaaaaaaaaaaa? What do we put on the rice?
So, based on this, it's easy to see that this has the potential not to last any longer than our one week trial unless we both experience a substantial physical epiphany. We'll try, but I just don't know.
I'll let you know how it goes...