... to join the ranks of bloggers. I'm normally one of those early adopter types but the whole blogging thing sort of passed me by.
Perhaps it was because, about the time when I really became aware that blogging was the new emailing (as a result of just about everyone I knew having a blog), I was busy planning a wedding (which in itself could have been a good source of blogger-fodder, but who has the time?). Perhaps what this actually reveals about me is that I'm getting progressively less "early" in adopting status, as I get older. People always said something weird and subconscious happens to you once you turn thirty. I never believed them, of course, until I actually turned thirty. At which point, weird stuff did start happening to me. Of course, having been made acutely aware of the Age-30-Phenomenon, it didn't turn out to be all that subconscious after all. But here are a couple of weird things that happened, to prove my point.:
- My stomach actually started to reject certain types of food. Yes, me, the one with the iron-cast stomach. Fried food makes my skin bleed oil and my stomach behave like the Pacific Ocean after the Exxon Valdez disaster.
- I think I now have alergies. For no reason that I can actually point to with exact certainty yet, I will occasionally wake up with prickly, puffy eyes, scaly skin around my mouth and itchy ears that cause me to scratch at them - causing much concern for Joss, who sometimes confuses me with our Cocker Spaniel, Frankie (who also has chronically itchy ears).
- Most recently (and I hate to admit this) I turned down a 5th generation, 60GB Video iPod because I already have a 4th generation, 20GB iPod. My depressingly rational reasoning was that I already had all the gadgets for the 20GB iPod and didn't want to have to go hunting for new ones that fit the new iPod. Also, I haven't even managed to fill up more than 4GB of the current iPod with songs, so really, what did I need 40 more gigs for anyway? My poor mum, who was so proud of this great Christmas gift, was forced to admit defeat and return this expensive piece of equipment. I feel really bad about this, but seriously, these gadgets are like Children! They need feeding (downloading songs) and cleaning (regular updates) and when they go wrong you need to send them to the doctor (tehnical support). When you get home at night, they take up your personal time and you find that you accomplish nothing constructive. You come to a place where you have to accept that you either need to spend quality time with your iPod and accept a lower level of home cleanliness, or start neglecting your expensive piece of equipment for more practical, responsible tasks like paying the bills and doing the dishes.
And this brings me to one of the other reasons why I probably didn't start a blog before. I recognize that I have the ability to spend virtually every waking hour on the computer, to the exclusion of all else. I just love it. The things you can learn, the ease with which you can stay in contact with people, the things you can buy (that presents problems in itself!). I love the feeling of a keyboard under my fingers, the sound of the clicking … something which goes back to getting my first electronic typewriter at the age of 7 or 8. I am completely afraid that this blog will become yet another way I can come home and avoid interacting with “normal” life and taking care of those adult responsibilities. I guess, the only one in control of that is me, but hey… this is my first, reluctant post, and it’s already 9:00am on a Saturday morning and I haven’t done a single productive thing.
Finally, I think the other reason I have taken so long to post something is because for a long time I felt there was something unseemly about publishing the intimate details of one’s life on the web for all to read. Those of you who know me well, know that I’m not the most private person, so perhaps this seems at odds with my personality in general, but it’s true. I have thought a lot about what kind of content I would want to put on a blog, and honestly I couldn’t think of any regular happenings in my life that would be remotely interesting to other people. Of course, most people write about their thoughts and feelings – a virtual journal or diary, if you will. This also poses problems for me. If the people that read my blog are the ones I would be sharing my thoughts and feelings about doesn’t this put me in the awkward predicament of having to avoid certain subjects altogether for fear of losing a friend or sparking an argument? Again, those of you who know me well know that I’m not a big fan of (nor adept at) “self-editing”.
But, this does bring us to why you’re finally reading this random collection of thoughts online. Actually, it was my friend Elena, who finally convinced me to start posting to this site. Elena, who I will talk more about another time, was the very first friend I made when I came to the U.S. She is quite possibly the smartest, most fascinating woman I know. Unfortunately she lives in L.A. and so I don’t get to see her very often. And yesterday I found out…. ELENA HAS A BLOG. So I read it. It was funny, it was touching, it was intelligent, it was insightful – it was inspiring. It was so great to have found a window back into her world. Suddenly, she didn’t feel so far away.
So, this is why I finally started this blog – I finally felt I had a reason, and something to say. I have family and friends in places I can’t visit very often, and others who are close by that the general pull-and-tug of “life” prevents me from connecting with in person on a regular basis. Hopefully, this blog will bring them (you!) a little “closer” through the wonder of modern technology. Perhaps I’ve been worrying about getting “lost” online too much, maybe in fact what will happen is that I will “find” many of those people that time prevents me from connecting with 1-on-1. Here’s hoping…