I have a theory about last night's American Idol results: Jesus voted off Carly Smithson.
There was Hubby and I last night, sitting in front of the tv, giddy with glee in our hearts because this time we were certain, without a doubt, ready to bet our last dime, that either emotional-wreck Brooke ("e-wreck") or dredlocked-stoner Jason Castro ("dreaded-J"), would be voted off this week after their terrible performances on Tuesday night. For those of you who missed it, Brooke forgot the words and made the band start again (the second time she's done this), and Jason murdered one of my favorite songs of all time "Memory" from the musical, Cats - and it was a bloody, ugly murder at that. They were, both of them, trainwreck performances.
As I was getting my hair cut last night pre-show, I conceded to my hairdresser that Brooke may get the sympathy vote but that only left the way even clearer for Jason to get the well-deserved boot.
And then Carly Smithson and Syesha Mercado were dumped in the bottom two and asked to sing again. Which is when it hit me: middle America thought Carly Smithson was blaspheming all over their tv set.
No sooner had the words Jesus Christ come out of her mouth than I knew it was the end for her last night. Without the context of the show (which I'm sure most people who are voting have either never seen or, most likely, never even heard of) it sounded like our Irish girl was cursing (or at least the American/religious interpretation of cursing) all over the stage. Of course, it doesn't help that the song has a rock-type vibe to it and that Carly's vocal influences stem more from Heart than the local church choir.
On Tuesday night I didn't get it - which is not unusual for a Brit who spent her whole life using "Oh God!", "Jesus Christ", and "Hells bells and buckets of blood", as 'acceptable' substitutes for the 'real' four letter swear words - but once she was announced as being in the bottom two it was as plain as day.
The only other possible explanation for last night's voting results was that a good portion of the country are either tone deaf or completely deaf. It's just completely unfathomable that two great voices would get no votes while E-Wreck and Dreaded-J continue on for another week.