Neck, shoulders, hip, back, and knee

Yeah, it's been that kind of week (or so).

The past week or two I had been dealing with muscle spasms in my shoulders. This is a recurring thing that happens to me when I am under a lot of stress. It happens once or twice a year maybe and passes in a couple of weeks. I have some good PT exercises to speed-up the recovery and a great massage therapist to push the timeline further.

Last Saturday, as I was heading up to Lake Tahoe with Mum and Daisy, I finally felt my shoulders release with a deep exhale. Driving long distances is very therapeutic to me and just the thought of the long drive ahead allowed me to let everything go.

Ahhhhhhhhhh. Sweet relief!


Until...

I picked Daisy up in a hurry as we were leaving the beach and strained my lower back and left I.T. band (a tendon that runs from your butt down the outside of your thigh and connects to your knee.) Ouch. Again, not a new thing for me. Back to some old PT exercises to release it.

It just started getting better a couple of days ago and then, hey presto, my right knee started getting shooting pains whenever I lunged forward to kneel down or (now) walk up or down stairs.

I mean, can I get a break PLEASE!?


Knee pain is new for me, sadly. Fortunately, at least right now, it is only hurting in those certain planes of motion I mentioned and there is no obvious swelling. Performing some Google research suggests that I probably have patellar tendinitis (also known as Jumper's Knee), likely a result of the increased number of plyometric workouts I have been doing to get back in shape. (So much for that.)

I have an appointment with my doctor next week for a regular cracky-cracky and we'll see what he says.

All I can say for certain is this: I AM NOT GETTING KNEE SURGERY. I am so done with surgeries. I just hope this doesn't result in months and months of physical therapy again, because I'm kinda done with PT too. I don't have time for this (or the money!)

Groan. I hate to be a moaner but nothing puts me in a worse mood than physical limitations.
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edited to add:

Shortly after writing this post I got excrutiating nerve pain in my lower back and hips; pain I have not had in a long, long time. I literally had to ice it until my ass was a popsicle, medicate with NSAIDS and do yoga breathing until I fell asleep sitting up. The side effect? Pain in my knee appears to be all but gone.

The ever-so-delicate phrase WHAT THE F***!? springs to mind.

Random crap

Literally.

After seeing so many beautiful photos of the every day (like this), I have decided I need to get better at taking photos of things that are not people's faces. I love people and, honestly, I really have little desire to shoot anything else. I just can't summon the enthusiasm and don't "see" the shot in my head, the way I do when I look at a person.

BUT, I don't just shoot for me any more and I am beginning to notice a samey-ness about my people photos. So, I'm hoping that by finding creative ways to find beauty in inanimate objects around me, I can somehow enrich my people photos too. Faces are great but people with context tell stories.

Hopefully that makes sense.

So, today my mission was to take pictures of "stuff" around me. Anything. To let go of waiting for the shot to appear interesting (because I've already admitted that is not gonna happen naturally) and to snap away.

I put my camera next to me on my desk and, as work allowed, I grabbed these images of random crap, mostly in my office.



























Ok, so my mother and my daughter are not "random crap" and I sorta threw my daughter in there because she's cute, even though this picture is of her face. But, the point is, I tried, ya know?

Hopefully I'll get better at this as time goes on.

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In the spirit of random, I'm adding a random aside into this post.

Today I started the "New/Old Me" campaign. Whipping myself back into shape is the goal. (Yeah, another goal, as if I needed more things to work on.)

Ok, positive thoughts.

I'm taking it little by little. Today I decided: no more sugar in coffee, more water and herbal tea, and no wine until Friday. And I got up and worked out to an old exercise video. No excusing my lethargy by the rain.

I almost faltered on the wine. Daisy was in a hellish mood, recovering from a cold/flu and having not napped. As you can see, she fell asleep in the car on the way to Trader Joe's so I had to turn around and come home. Even if I'd stayed in the parking lot until she woke, I knew she would be in no mood to shop - she generally wakes up cranky and tearful these days, regardless of being sick or not. Of course, we got home, pulled into the driveway and the crying/whining started and pretty much didn't stop until 7:45pm when she conked out in bed.

Yeah, it took real will power not to pull that bottle out of the refrigerator.

Baby steps.

I usually like Thursdays... and other random thoughts

• I usually like Thursdays, except today is a no Vampire Diaries day and so I'm sulking. The whole on/off thing with American tv shows and new episodes is just maddening. Every week, when you finish watching your favorite show, you sit, holding your breath, to hear if next week will bring a re-run. In the UK, a series runs non-stop for as many episodes as there are. There are no summer hiatuses, only new shows. (Although, granted, Fox started the whole summer series season a few years ago and some of the shows haven't been bad.) I miss the BBC.

• I have really been struggling for things to write about lately on here. Maybe it's because I have 4 blogs and so my thoughts are generally spread across the blogosphere: Daisy stuff - Lazy Crazy Daisy; Photography Stuff - Memories by Michelle or MbyM365. And then there's Facebook. Sharings that may once have developed into a rambling, ranty post, are usually now reduced to a quick status update or shared link. I feel like my thoughts have been MTV'd.

• Oh, incidentally, I gave Memories by Michelle blog a little revamp. Simpler, cleaner, showcasing photos. You likely? I'm still struggling with an "About Me" page. I think it needs it but I seem thoroughly incapable of penning anything compelling about yours truly that might actually matter to someone interested in hiring me. I mean, I have a lot to say but the reality is that is has to be worth saying. No ranting or rambling. If YOU had to describe me in one sentence, what would you write? Send me a comment - maybe I'll use it. (Oh, and BE NICE!)

• I have re-started my weight-loss and exercise program for like the 100th time this year. (Given we're not yet 100 days into the year, I think that says something.) I made grandiose plans on Jan 1 but have not followed through. But I don't feel good in my own skin right now and that needs to change. And then there is the whole SI Joint issue which just flares up when I slack off. It's like a literal prod in the ass, to urge me to get back at it. Eat better. Exercise more. That's my objective. I don't have specific weight loss plans, or fat percentage goals, or even workout times because that's just too much with everything else going on in my life, but if I can just incrementally improve on both fronts, I think I'll feel much better both mentally and physically.

• One of my best friends just moved not a half a mile away from me. I'm super excited. Envisioning back-yard family BBQs, our kids (who are just 7 months apart) growing up as good friends, and impromptu glasses of wine while bitching about parenting. Of course, in reality, the same obstacles that existed to prevent us getting together more often before, still exist. We tried to go out on a stroller-walk this afternoon after work but I have 2 places to be. I offered to do it at lunch, she has places to be. So, it will be interesting to see if we really do see each other much more. I guess, as time rolls on, it will be easier to identify those unexpected windows of time where we don't have anything going on, and synch up.

Alrighty, that's it for now.

Friday Motivation - Week 9: BOOOOOOOOOO!

Pic above is of me and my good friend "Nike" (Jenny) at her wedding in Dallas, October of 2007. Nike is now pregnant and her first baby is due in March of next year.

Again, another pic from 2007. I can't believe it was just 2 years ago - I look so much younger and healthier, it's SICK. If you go downhill so far in just 24 months, think what can happen by the time you hit your 60s! I think I'll maybe just drink myself into oblivion by then or something - go out with big bang rather than a slow creak.

Well, time to get down to the depressing stats for this week.

CURRENT WEIGHT: 155lbs
WEIGHT LOST THIS WEEK: A big fat ZERO! :o(
TOTAL WEIGHT LOST TO DATE: 6.2lbs
NUMBER OF WEEKS TO GOAL: 5
LBS TO GOAL: 10lbs

It's becoming increasingly more obvious that I am not going to meet my goal weight by the time we head-off to Jamaica. I've lost only 6lbs in 9 weeks, despite cutting out my evening meal, bread, and most processed foods as well as adding 3 trips to the gym each week.

Depressed. Dejected.

Friday Motivation - Week 8: Late

Just a quick update so you know I'm not slacking off.

Weight last Friday was 155.0lbs. Grand total loss last week of only 0.2lbs. Drats!

Went to Trader Joes yesterday and bought all kinds of yummy healthy stuff in an attempt to avoid falling off the wagon in any way, shape, or form.

Unfortunately, this blasted back strain has prevented me from working out. It's been almost a week since I got to the gym or got on the Total Gym. Pain has started to fade a bit today and I've been able to not take any painkillers, although I'll probably give in tonight to get some sleep.

Chiropractor said I've strained my iliolumbar ligament. Great. Even more parts of my body that I didn't know existed are hurting.

Friday Motivation - Week 7: I needed good news!

Setting the table at our first anniversary/homewarming party - November 2007

Next week is our 3rd anniversary, so I thought the above picture was appropriate. It occurs to me that I seem to like a lot of pics of myself from the fall of '07. Innnnnteresting. I wonder how much of that is how much I weighed/how I looked and how much of it was how much of a good time I was having at that point in my life? Things to think about: does our inner happiness shine through in pictures and/or does our memory of the time the picture was taken affect the way we view the pic?

Anyway, this weeks stats.

CURRENT WEIGHT: 155.2lbs
WEIGHT LOST THIS WEEK: 1.0lb
TOTAL WEIGHT LOST TO DATE: 6lbs
CURRENT CLOTHING SIZE: 8-10
GOAL WEIGHT: 145lbs
GOAL CLOTHING SIZE: 6-8
NUMBER OF WEEKS TO GOAL: 7
LBS TO GOAL: 10.2lbs

Not as good as last week but not too shabby either, especially considering it's been a rough week and I could have turned to bad-for-me foods for comfort. Instead, I managed to add in more exercise than normal, including a very nice and cathartic lunchtime walk with a good friend. Instead of pigging out and spending money at a local restaurant, we donned our walking shoes and chatted while we walked around some local trails. Something I'll have to do/suggest more.

Connecting the dots

Yesterday I went to see my massage therapist. She has been on vacation for a few weeks and so I have not seen her in more than a month. During that time I have been stepping up my workout routine in an effort to get fit, get strong, and well, let's face it, lose that effin' baby weight. So, with all those things combined, I was a ball of muscles, tendons, ligaments, and fascia all fighting for a channel to spreadh their pain message. Tanya, my massage therapist, as usual, found them all one by one. It was brutal.

Today I went to see my osteopath. I had not seen her in 2 weeks. Her nose scrunched up in disappointment when I told her my current pain level (3-4) and list of ailments. (Nothing you haven't already heard, so I'll spare you the details.)

I told her I had been stepping up my exercise routine and thought that may have been the cause of the increased issues. She asked me exactly what that meant (ie: what I had been doing and how often) and by the time I had finished listing everything I do, she was pretty gobsmacked. It was only then I realized myself how much all these things I've been incrementally adding actually added up to:

• Power yoga 1-2 times per week
• Cardio @ the gym 3 mornings a week
• 30 minutes of strength training on the Total Gym 3 times a week
• 30 minute walks 3-4 times a week

Of course, I had the passing thought: Why the hell am I not losing weight? I didn't have time to linger because my treatment started.

At some point during an assault on my IT band, the doctor asked me if I was pooping fine. Strange question to ask, right, given that I was there for hip, groin, and thigh pain? It was, however, a thought-provoking question because that... um... particular element has been somewhat back-and-forth from different extremes lately. (Sorry if this is TMI - you know where the "x" is on your web browser!)

When I reported my... problem (let's call it) she said that osteopathic medicine believes that there is a connection between IT band tightness and my GI tract. Blockages or areas of tightness in my lateral thigh, therefore, could be caused by my erratic pooping or, of course, visa versa. I asked her which was which in my case and she said it was a bit like the chicken and the egg; you don't know which way around it is.

Logically, my brain went to the conclusion that nutrition and diet could be affecting all of this. (Of course --- and before you get to the comments section Elena --- this is not the first time I've heard this but it was the first time that I've opened my mind to the possibility.)

Further research when I got home basically led to articles on the autonomic nervous system (ANS) and the parasympathetic nervous system (PNS), which is a part of it. In lamens terms, the PNS regulates the body's visceral organs via the innervation of three kinds of tissues, one of which is muscle tissue. Through this process the PNS is connected to your GI tract, your bowels, your pelvis, and, particularly your pelvic diaphram. (It's all a lot more complicated and involved that that but that's the reader's digest version.)

Since all of these things are connected, it is possible that either:

(a) Many of my pain issues are causing pooping issues or

(b) My pooping issues are causing many of my pain issues, particularly in my pelvis and pubic bone area.

Of course, if it's (b), a different diet could help.

And then, of course, there's the issue of my not losing weight despite all the exercising and dieting I have been doing.

And then I connected the dots.

And then came the acceptance.

Maybe - just maybe - if I changed my diet, I could affect my pain outcomes and lose weight.

Bottom line, I've been avoiding this conversation with myself for quite some time. I've seen friends change the way they eat and report benefits above-and-beyond weight-loss but I thought I knew better. (Or, realistically, hoped I did.) I've lost weight in the past on my own knowledge and under my own steam and thought I could just go down that the same path again.

Yet, it's not working. I've been at it for more than 4 months now and haven't really lost a pound. Ok, I haven't always been as "good" as I could have been and have only recently stepped-up the exercise but there should have been some incremental improvement; I haven't seen it.

Although I have been too stubborn to admit it, my body is not responding as it once did. This could be attributable to my age, my hip surgery, the fact I carried a baby, and/or my c-section. Who the hell knows? When I list it like that, it's quite frankly unsurprising that my body may be a different beast these days.

I'm not saying I'm definitely convinced there's some hollistic answer to all of my problems and I'm absolutely not saying I'm going to become some crazy person who will only eat certain foods and who delivers a 20 minute list of dos and don'ts to the waitress at a restaurant. I'm just saying that I'm open to modifying my diet right now. The whole nerve thing made sense on a practical level (rather than the hocusy-pocusy level that this stuff is often presented on) and so I'm willing to try.

So, I started googling nutrition and pain. I've already found some interesting information I think I can put to work right away and I'll report on that in a future post. For now I'll end here and await the "I told you so!" (and helpful advice) from my friend, Elena. :o)