Wednesday, January 06, 2010

Holy Faux Pas!

This morning my boss told me that I had lost weight. Of course, overall, I have. I'm just a few pounds away from my pre-pregnancy weight. Granted, my body is not in the tip-top, tight shape it was back then yet, but it's close enough to say that I feel beyond the baby weight at this point. So, the compliment made me feel good.

It's just as well because I needed a savings account of self-esteem for the afternoon when at the pediatrician's, as I was making our co-payment, the twenty-something receptionist asked me "When are you due?"

I laughed because I knew she would be mortified when I told her "I'm not pregnant."

Now, at this point, most people would go beet red, apologize profusely and move on quickly to save face.

You guessed it, that is not what happened in this case.

"Are you serious?" she asked me, in a tone that demonstrated that she thought I was being coy or toying with her or something. "You are pregnant, aren't you?" She then continued to defend her position by saying "I can see your belly!" repeating some words to the effect that she thought I was messing with her.

Had it not have been for the fact that I was feeling pretty good about myself today and actually was thinking that my stomach was getting flatter all of a sudden, I would probably have disappeared into tears or reacted with hurt anger at this point. But I didn't, I kept smiling, convinced that, at some point this poor girl would realize her horrible faux pas and be incredibly embarassed. Yet, she continued.

"Seriously? You're not pregnant?" she asked again and I, smiling (barely at this point) once again affirmed no. Now she started to go all shades of red and began to apologize, which I was kind of glad of because I was beginning to think that I had developed some kind of reverse anorexia and what I thought saw in the mirror that morning was actually 30lbs lighter than what other people were seeing.

The other girls behind the counter were beginning to tune into our conversation now, either incredulous that she was continuing this line of questioning or that I wasn't actually pregnant - it was difficult to determine which but they were definitely eyeing me doubtfully.

Then, the unthinkable happened - the girl grabbed her foot and proceeded to not only put it further in her mouth, but, by the time she was done, had probably swallowed it for dinner. "It must be that dress you're wearing that makes your stomach look big," she said.

WTF!? Seriously? Had this girl somehow skipped every life lesson on women's weight and social etiquette?

(Not that it should have had anything to do with it but I would like to point out that (a) I was standing behind a waist-high counter and (b) I was not wearing a dress. I was wearing a long-line, tailored shirt, a nice shirt (Cabi), over black leggings and a pair of knee-high black boots. The shirt wasn't even form-fitting, so it didn't even show the outline of my figure!)

At this point, I was, understandably, a bit flabberghasted. Less so at the slight and more so at the fact that she was continuing to add insult to injury. I told her I had actually lost 10lbs since the last time I saw her and didn't know what she was talking about but AGAIN she asked me if I was kidding with her!?

Now one of the other girls behind the counter tried to come to her defense. "Even so," she said, in what had to be the world's worst attempt to dig a friend out of a deeply muddy hole, "sometimes, when you lose weight after a baby, you don't lose it evenly from everywhere. It goes faster from some places than others."

I looked at her incredulously and said "I would stop trying to dig her out of a hole if I were you because you basically just said I have a fat stomach."

There was an awkward silence, of course. I was still smiling and things were still jolly but the undertone to my voice was clear - you're crossing a line, bitch! (I venture to say that, for many people, the line would already have been not only crossed, but a distance speck by then.) I finished paying, all the while, the women sort of looking at me oddly, as if to determine whether or not their friends' initial assessment of my condition was an understandable mistake based upon my appearance.

"Now you're all going to watch me walk away to see if I actually do look pregnant," I said, as I tucked my credit card receipt in my wallet and shook my head at them in dismay.

I was honestly so shocked by their comments and behavior that I couldn't regain my sense of indignation and get angry. I'm still actually not angry right now, although I have every right to be. I'm just 100% gobsmacked, quite frankly. I'm not just 100% certain that I do not look pregnant (maybe a little squidgy but certainly not preggers), I'm also in complete disbelief at their insensitivity and cluelessness.

And all this just added to a day that mingled with all the other crappy ones in the past few weeks. It started with losing our childcare to sickness at 7am this morning, meaning Hubby had to take the morning off because I had to go into the office for a meeting, and continued with Daisy having almost non-stop diarrhea.

To top it all off, I had one hour in the early afternoon where my glands, throat, and inner-ears were throbbing like crazy, as if I was coming down with yet another bug. I called my doc and she prescribed an antibiotic for me over the phone (without an examination, something which just bothers me - I don't like to take antibiotics needlessly and I don't appreciate having drugs thrown at me in lieu of actual medical care). I feel better this evening, however, and so I'm going to wait to see how I feel in the morning before I decide to take anything. Hopefully it was the stomach flu thing of last week still working it's way slowly out of my system. Fingers crossed!

And so, we hope for a better day tomorrow, or at least one in which I don't get asked if I'm carrying twins or something.


Mala said...

I cannot believe that lady! What is wrong with her??? You do seem to attract weirdos lately ;)

CGBCYouth said...

Ditto to what Mala said. You attract weirdos like us. haha...

I dont' know what I'd say in a situation like that. Maybe something along the line of, "You look like you're carrying twins yourself. Are you about to pop?"

I get defensive in situation like that...UPS got my wrath when they crossed the line.

TravelVixen said...

Joy - you gave me GREAT idea! The next time I go in there (which all going well won't be until April), I'm going to ask her how far along she is. I wonder if she'll remember me and clue-in or whether she'll be shocked and offended? I don't care either way. I'm so going to do it.

e said...

You know, it's a lot like when a guy hits on you and you say no, you're not interested, and then they treat you like there's something wrong with you. Un-freaking-believable. And not.

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