Balsamic Vinegar

I feel like I'm swimming in it these days. It's pretty much the only thing with any "twang" that I can eat or drink on this cleanse and so I'm downing it like a college student with a beer bong.

It's in my salad dressings. It's in my marinades. I use it to dip stuff in. I seriously suspect that I have begun to sweat it. That and garlic and lemons. Those come a close second.

In truth, the food part of the cleanse is not that hard. Yeah, it takes a ton of time to prep everything but since I have my primary ingredients for every meal in a baggie at this point - garlic, lemons, onions, spinach - it's getting easier. And it's not like I ate all that bad to begin with.

What I'm missing like CRAAAAAAAAZY is..... coffee.

(Ha! You thought I was going to say wine, didn't you!?)

I don't even drink that much of it: one cup, maaaaybe two each morning, and perhaps a trip to Starbucks with the huzband in the early evening once a week. Yet I just feel like my day can't start without it. I wake up in the morning and seriously am unsure of what to do with myself. I just want to hold a warm cup of rich, french roast in my hands. I want to wake my mouth up with the dark, creamy taste of it. Plus, smelling it brewing for my husband every morning is just torture.

And before you say it: no, it's NOT the caffeine. I have not had any withdrawal symptoms and I would quite happily drink decaf. It's 100% about the taste. I LOVE it. I MISS it. It will be my first indulgence after this thing ends.

Other things I miss? Again, not the food itself but the function of food in my life. On Fridays we usually go out for dinner as a family and now our Friday choices are basically limited to Jack's Urban Eats, which is a "build your own salad" restaurant. Then on Saturdays, Daisy and I usually go out for some kind of treat together, either breakfast, lunch, or a cupcake. Last Saturday I took her to Whole Foods and salivated while she devoured a carrot cup cake and I sipped on bottled water. (TORTURE.)

On the positive side, I have been experimenting more with food than I have ever done. I seared my first ahi tuna steak last week (delicious), made my own marinade for salmon (yummy), and tonight made some KILLER sweet potato fries with garlic, oregano, rosemary, and olive-oil. Finger-licking good! I think I will definitely continue to incorporate some of these basic principles into my diet beyond the end of the cleanse. Eating like this religiously, for every single meal and snack for the rest of my life? Um... no.

I am still waiting for the results from my food-allergens test, however, so I may find that there are foods I should not incorporate back into my diet. We'll see what that looks like.

As to how I'm feeling, I would definitely say more energetic. I'm not getting the afternoon energy slump I was before. I'm not sure how much of that is related to the diet vs. the fact that the constant adjustments and massages are alleviating my neck and shoulder pain more. I'm sure both were/are contributors to my energy level.

So, yes, there is some improvement on the physical side. It's slow and in fits-and-spurts but I'm starting to have more "good" time than "bad" time with my pain. It hasn't gone away completely but has, for the most part, reduced to a manageable level... background noise if you will, vs. the full-on rock concert it was before. Sitting at a computer for any length of time, however, is my key regressor.

The main functional improvement I have experienced is more comfort in bed at night. Instead of the popping and clicking and general feeling of destablization that had forced me to box myself into a back-laying position with pillows, I now find I can freely change positions in bed. This, in turn, is helping my back because I'm not locked into one position all night.

In addition to appointments with my chiro, I have also begun a plan of clinical Pilates sessions at my local gym. The teacher there, Deborah, had a car accident ten years ago, at about my age, has many of the same issues as me (particularly in her neck) and so she is tuned-into what I'm going through, not only physically but functionally and emotionally. In addition to being a Pilates instructor, she also works at a physical therapist's office, and is a a certified BodyTalk practitioner. (More on that later.)

One of the things Deborah has been working with me on is my posture and basic movement patterns, particularly as it relates to the relationship with my pelvis and knee pain (which continues). To put it simply, my various dysfunctions have caused my body to compensate in a number of unhealthy ways and now, to even perform basic activities, I'm using the wrong muscles and/or firing them in the wrong order. So now I'm re-learning to walk, stand still, climb stairs, sit-down, and get-up out of a chair.

Some days I feel like I just need a complete remodel, ya know?

A brief update

For those of you who have been following along on my pain journey, I wanted to provide a brief update.

So far I've had 4 appointments with the new chiro. Each appointment consists of:

1. 15 minutes doing mild exercise (arm bike) while inhaling 90% oxygen.
2. A 10 minute deep tissue massage
3. A chiropractic adjustment

There have also been some other experimental things, like a little electronic pulse that is applied to your ear, at common accupuncture points, to try and stimulate my brain. Through repeated brain stimulation tests, we've pretty much figured out that the right side of me is **cked - reflexes, response time and other things like my ability to touch two fingers together over my head. Things I can do (easily) with my left side just don't happen right now with my right (which is where all my injuries and the majority of my pain symptoms are), so we're trying to kick-start my brain again into firing on all cylinders.

The oxygen therapy or E.W.O.T. (Exercising with Oxygen Therapy) is interesting. I have an open mind about it and, while exercising, read this brief book about the theory behind it. However, I'm not sensing any changes from it, as yet. Initially I was a setting of "3" for 10 minutes (I can't remember off-hand what the number represents but I'll look it up) and today I moved up to a setting of "4" for 15 minutes. I admit to feeling a little more "awake" with the additional oxygen, kinda like when you suck a really strong mint and it floods your sinuses and air cavities with that cool sensation. But the feeling goes away as soon as the oxygen does.

The regular massage is FABULOUS and provides immediate, although transitory, relief in my upper back, neck and shoulders. Thirty minutes back in the "real world", however, and I feel my shoulders creep up and my pain begin to return. 

The adjustments are... mind-bending. For someone like me, who cracks and pops constantly without assistance, and where those cracks and pops represent injury, weakness, and often pain, it's hard to accept that rapid-fire popping in various parts of my body is positive, productive and healing. I have a very physical reaction to adjustments - I literally produce a full-body jolt right after them. Mainly it's been my spine that's been doing most of the cracking but also my neck, arms, and pelvis. So far, no major issues as a result, except of course for some soreness. 

Also, however, no major improvement. I have experienced periods of reduced pain in my upper back and my neck does feel slightly less stiff/stuck but mostly it's status quo. Since I've avoided massage or therapy on my S.I. for some time, after a previous P.T. told me it was "irritating" it, my S.I., sacrum, and lumbar areas are sore from the massage and adjustments but it's not anything I wouldn't expect. Mostly, I feel exhausted and a little loopy at the end of a session.

Unfortunately, as I said in my previous post, my right knee pain has come back with a vengeance - I'm talking can't walk up the stairs on it, can't stand up from a chair on both feet kind of pain. The good thing about the knee pain is that it's only present with certain activity, as opposed to the back and neck pain which is present all the time. The bad thing about the knee pain is that it is aggravated by and in some cases prevents me from doing the exercises that have proven effective in staving off back pain. 

I have no idea if the knee pain came on because of what we've been doing elsewhere in my body or if it's an unfortunate coincidence but I'm leaning toward it being a result of the other adjustments since I've come to believe just about everything is connected to everything else right now. The chiropractor seems non-committal either way, which makes sense because he's only just beginning to get to know me and my body. He has begun massaging the tendons of that knee, which are RIDICULOUSLY sore, tight and "tweaky". In fact he managed to find some pretty major "knots" that I just would not have thought possible to be hiding in an area that small.

For now I'm just trying to be patient and let things unfold while simultaneously icing my knee and heating my back.

And then there is this...

Yes, that is exactly what you think it is. I poop in it, seal it up, freeze it for at least 24 hours, and then send it by UPS to a lab for analysis. We'll be testing for lots of metabolic and auto-immune-type stuff that could be messing with my body (because, you know, what we've already diagnosed is not enough) one of which will be gluten sensitivity.

So, yeah, there will be poop in my freezer this weekend.

Meanwhile, I am continuing to explore other ways to stay exercising and strong, while the therapy part unfolds - the last thing I need is to go backwards in what little strength and fitness I have been able to maintain through all of this. I'm setting up clinical/reformer Pilates training sessions with the lady at my local gym who is a pilates instructor as well as someone who works with physical therapists. She was in a car accident a decade or so ago and had some major spinal issues with resulting pain which sent her in a downward spiral and threatened to take over her life but, through Pilates, has been able to restore fitness, strength, flexibility, and reduce her pain. Clearly, I'd like to do the same and she seems uniquely-positioned to help.

Which leaves 5 days a week consumed with therapy at this point. While there are still other things that have been recommended that I could explore (Rolfing, Bowen Therapy, and Body Talk to name just a few) there are only so many hours in a day, days in a week, and dollars in my pay check. I'm going at this stuff with all I got right now, so let's hope I start to see some improvement soon.

In other news, work = stress. This is not helping.