Quick Update

1. HIP

My swelling continued to go down, my PT said today. I think it's the new anti-inflam because we're not doing anything else significantly different, or at least anything that would affect my inflammation that quickly.

She also tested my flexibility because I was complaining that my leg felt tight, particularly in the quad. Yeah, well... NOT. I'm still hyperflexible. The pain I'm feeling IS nerve pain. It's sinking in slowly. VERY slowly. Each piece of information sits, absorbs, and is added to a previous piece of information.

It's hardly a wonder I'm not religious - if I need 3 weeks of continuous examples, education, and proof that my pain is not muscle/tightness related, think how much proof you'd have to show me to convince me that God actually exists! (This is not a comment on anyone who IS religious, by the way. It's just the way I am. I don't take things at face value. Sorry!)

Talking of which... my PT is a believer and has taken my studious silence during a recent chat with her intern about where she worships, as agreement with the same. Now my PT includes instruction on how to pray for better health and to put my fate in God's hands.

Sorry folks... I don't see God poking my nerve endings. I'm going to stick with trying to fix this one myself.

And lest you think that I am a horrible heathen (which you may very well do anyway), I am at least not planning on telling her that I am a non-believer. She is a nice person who is just trying to help me and, quite honestly, I don't want to have "that" conversation with her (and she is the type that would have "that" conversation.) I respect her right to worship whomever she wants and neither want to be converted nor engaged in a religious debate. So, I'm staying "mum", as wel say in Blighty.

Last note on this: pain is still pretty constant. Not much change there, although I take my friend, e's point, that my overall trend may be slowly downwards by small degrees; it may take a while to register that there's a difference.

2. WEIGHT

Today 147.8lbs and 36.3% fat. So, my tally is 13.2lbs lost and 2.8lbs to go to my target. 6.3% of my bodyfat still to lose. Blech!

On the plus side, with all this physical therapy focusing on strengthening my trunk, I'm going to end up with six-pack abs!

The nature of love

I heard this on NPR this morning. It's one of the many stories that come out of the Story Corps series that touch my heart and leave me sitting in the car long after I should have got out, with a lump in my throat.

I have thought about sharing many of them over the years but this one was too wonderful to pass up. It speaks to me about the nature of love. So pure, so honest, so authentic. It's the stories and moments like this in life that make it worth living... at least for me.




On a completely unrelated note, I wanted to confirm that I have not given up on FRIDAY MOTIVATION posts. However, since I have been more focused on my physical therapy and trying to follow that plan, losing weight/gaining muscle has not been at the top of my list.

But, I have been trying to keep my weight down, by cutting back further on calories, especially given my decreased overall activity on the new therapy plan. (Something which pains me, by the way, my exercise is for my mental as well as physical health and I'm having a really hard time not "going for it" at the gym and not doing any yoga.)

Anyway, just wanted to let you all know that I'm still hovering around 148lbs... if I can at least not put on weight while I'm on this limited activity program, I'm going to consider that a win.

Friday Motivation - Phase II, Week 3

I'm going to keep this one brief because I think that, ultimately, these posts are becoming a bit self-indulgent. However, it's helping me stay motivated to know that I have to check-in on this blog with my progress each week, so here goes...

(And yes, I did miss last week. Oops!)

Current Weight: 148.6lbs
Body Fat: 36%
Weight Lost this week: 1.2lbs
Total weight lost to date: 12.4lbs
Lbs to Goal: 3.6lbs
Fat % to Goal: 6%

Yay for me. Just under 4lbs to go to my pre-baby weight!

I had so much more to blog about this week - the election results in MA and the impact on the President's agenda (specifically healthcare), the kid who brought a gun to school being defended by the NRA, and the crazy weather to name a few. But, ultimately, I don't have time to sit and write about it these days. I thought about just throwing some rushed and random thoughts on this blog but some of the discussions require thoughtful posts.

I have found that, now I'm a mother, it's not that I care less about political or social issues but more that I don't have the brain or emotional space to let myself get embroiled in them.

So, this is all ya get for now...

Friday Motivation - Phase II, Week 1

Ok, now I'm really upping the pressure on myself.

The pic on the left is me about three months before my wedding in '06, tanned, skinny, hair perfect, and just made-up by my friend, Kim.

I'm posting the pic of me at the best shape of my life right now because I am upping the ante in the weight-loss stakes. Since I have another 10 weeks before I actually go to Jamaica, I'm setting myself new goals

Henceforth, we're embarking upon Friday Motivation PHASE II (cue theme tune to Rocky).

We begin with good news - I have broken the 150lbs barrier... JUST. (I guess that holiday stress and sickness was good for SOMETHING.)

Now it's time to focus a little less on pounds and a little more on strength, tone, and muscle conditioning.

Therefore, my goal before March 20 is not only to lose those remaining 5 pounds but also to shed an additional 7% of my current body fat, getting me to the top-end of what should be healthy for a woman of my age. Or, in real terms, this means I need to lose, and/or transition to muscle, 11.5lbs of body fat. (Gulp.)

Current Weight: 149.8lbs
Weight Lost To Date: 11.2lbs
Current Body Fat %: 37%
Goal Weight: 145lbs
Goal Body Fat %: 30%
Weeks to Goal: 10

Here's to me making 2010 the best shape of my life!

Friday Motivation - Week 12

February '07 - Moi and some good friends at a baby shower. Will my stomach EVER be that flat again????

I'm going to get straight to it because progress has not been stellar this week:

CURRENT WEIGHT: 152.6lbs
WEIGHT LOST THIS WEEK: 0.6lbs
TOTAL WEIGHT LOST TO DATE: 8.6lbs
NUMBER OF WEEKS TO GOAL: 2
LBS TO GOAL: 7.4lbs

So, I'm just over 1/2 way there. Sadly, however, 50% was not the achievement I was looking for.

The only thing I will report is that my body fat percentage (according to my fancy scale) has been decreasing steadily. I started off at almost 41% body fat (I know, isn't that DISGUSTING!?) and this morning the scales reported just over 37%. If my calculations are right, this means that I have lost about 10lbs of fat in as many weeks. Some better news, at least, assuming the fancy scale is worth it's weight in gold (or, in this case, fat.)

Just gotta keep on truckin', I guess.

Friday Motivation - Week 11: Progress!

Above pic is me and Hubby in July of '07. (Man, I need a tan again!)

Well, this week has been interesting.

Let's get the diet stuff out of the way...

CURRENT WEIGHT: 153.2lbs
WEIGHT LOST THIS WEEK: 0.8lbs
TOTAL WEIGHT LOST TO DATE: 7.8lbs
NUMBER OF WEEKS TO GOAL: 3
LBS TO GOAL: 8.2lbs

I'm definitely noticing a difference in the way my clothes are fitting and am able to get into even more of my pre-pregnancy pants at this point - a huge relief for my pocket-book as well as my ego, lemme tell ya! If I can only get below 150 before my vacation to Jamaica (which is the date of my 3 week goal), I think I would feel a decent level of success, even if I don't make it all the way down to the golden 145.

Finally, after a long and brutal illness, my massage therapist returned to work yesterday and I had my first appointment with her in a long time. It turned out to be a breakthrough appointment.

We discovered that my pubic bone issues were being caused? exacerbated? by a lot of tightness where my adductor muscle connects at the joint. Once we got the adductor to release, the pubic bone pain all-but evaporated! She also managed to get my lower-back pain and tightness to go away - the first time in what seems like FOR-EVER! Of course, I now have upper-back pain (more on that later.) My body is like a toothpaste tube with no opening.

I left her office feeling like a completely new person. All the sense of instability that I had in my hip, pelvis, and pubic area seemed to be gone! Then, I decided to do a short yoga workout (all I had time for) and found that the difference in the quality of my movement was marked. Instead of feeling like my right leg was wading through mud in comparison to the fluidity of my left leg, it felt more like water. I was more balanced, felt stronger, and definitely found that my muscles relaxed and eased into poses faster.

To say that I was elated by this development was a complete and utter understatement. Even though I went to bed with tightness in my upper back, shoulders, and neck, just the fact that it was no longer in my hips and pelvis gave me a huge sense of relief - it was progress!

I woke up this morning feeling lighter and more positive than I have in a long time. This morning I had an osteopath appointment and I drove the 45 minutes there with a renewed sense of optimism that, eventually, if I keep doing what I'm doing, I will be healthy and fit and free of chronic pain once more; that I may be able to ski and hike and chase Daisy around the garden; that I will not be afraid to move in certain ways again; and that I will get to the end of the day without the sense of mental, emotional, and physical fatigue that I currently experience, quietly battling away with the pain and stiffness that currently plagues my life (and trying to pretend that it's really not there.)

I turned the music up in my car, bopped around, and actually started to think about the joys of Christmas for the first time. This sounds sort of cliched and all but I actually realized that the sense of hopelessness I have been feeling about the status of my hip has been impacting my energy level and enthusiasm for the season just about as much as the pain itself.

There's been an element of long-term doom hanging over my head for the last year and a half, a feeling that I was stuck with this pain and resulting limitations for life, and that by the time I'm in my 50s and 60s, I'll be so disabled by the whole thing (plus all the other pains of older age) that I won't be able to enjoy life any more. For me, it's not simply enough to exist in life - I have to live it. I have to go sky-diving and zip lining and ATV'ing and hiking and visit new countries and experience new things; without the feeling that I can go at life with full-on gusto, I'm lost. I realized this morning, in that moment of carefree driving, that I was losing hope that this is how my life would be.

Maybe you think I'm crazy for feeling this way, that I'm over-reacting, but I've been dealing with hip pain for 4 years now and have spent the last 18 months of my life recovering from one surgery or another plus I became a first time mommy - when you put it all together it takes it's toll mentally as well as physically. There are days when I miss who I was before all of this, physically and emotionally, so bad that I want to cry. I look at those pictures of me in 2007 (the ones that keep heading up these Friday blog entries) and I wonder how I was possibly that girl and how quickly (relatively speaking) I got from there to here.

So, yes, it was a big deal when I did that yoga workout yesterday and things felt different.

Now to the upper/middle back, shoulder, and neck pain. Yup, seriously, I know, can I get a break!?

I keep putting out ribs. My osteopath snapped three more back into place today. My neck is also so tight she's amazed that I can move my head from side to side. How do I keep doing this to myself? You think I'd know, but I don't. I do, however, notice when my ribs pop out and it happens quite a lot and without any sort of fanfare. I can be sitting here at my desk, typing away, or I can be sitting with Daisy on the floor playing, and I'll feel a pop around my spine. I used to think it was my spine but it's not, it's ribs moving. But it's always when I'm sitting. The ribs are, of course, causing the shoulder and neck tension and, when unaddressed, result in the tension also going down my back. Clearly, the ribs need to be dealt with.

My osteopath suggested focusing on my lats, traps, and pecs more during my strength training workouts, to give my back and my ribs more muscular support and to help improve my posture. This is not the first time I have heard this in my lifetime and so I'm going take that advice and see what happens. I'm also making a very conscientious effort to sit in a more ergonomically correct position at my desk. I know I have a tendency to slouch and, when you work from home where nobody can see you, there is little motiviation to "sit pretty". Therefore, the only way to remember is to remind myself: I'm putting a little sticky on my computer that says "SIT UP STRAIGHT!"

Hopefully, if we can keep-up the progress with the hips and nip the back/shoulders/neck thing in the bud, I'll be able to sense true pain relief and the first inklings of long term recovery.

Friday Motivation - Week 9: BOOOOOOOOOO!

Pic above is of me and my good friend "Nike" (Jenny) at her wedding in Dallas, October of 2007. Nike is now pregnant and her first baby is due in March of next year.

Again, another pic from 2007. I can't believe it was just 2 years ago - I look so much younger and healthier, it's SICK. If you go downhill so far in just 24 months, think what can happen by the time you hit your 60s! I think I'll maybe just drink myself into oblivion by then or something - go out with big bang rather than a slow creak.

Well, time to get down to the depressing stats for this week.

CURRENT WEIGHT: 155lbs
WEIGHT LOST THIS WEEK: A big fat ZERO! :o(
TOTAL WEIGHT LOST TO DATE: 6.2lbs
NUMBER OF WEEKS TO GOAL: 5
LBS TO GOAL: 10lbs

It's becoming increasingly more obvious that I am not going to meet my goal weight by the time we head-off to Jamaica. I've lost only 6lbs in 9 weeks, despite cutting out my evening meal, bread, and most processed foods as well as adding 3 trips to the gym each week.

Depressed. Dejected.

Friday Motivation - Week 8: Late

Just a quick update so you know I'm not slacking off.

Weight last Friday was 155.0lbs. Grand total loss last week of only 0.2lbs. Drats!

Went to Trader Joes yesterday and bought all kinds of yummy healthy stuff in an attempt to avoid falling off the wagon in any way, shape, or form.

Unfortunately, this blasted back strain has prevented me from working out. It's been almost a week since I got to the gym or got on the Total Gym. Pain has started to fade a bit today and I've been able to not take any painkillers, although I'll probably give in tonight to get some sleep.

Chiropractor said I've strained my iliolumbar ligament. Great. Even more parts of my body that I didn't know existed are hurting.

Friday Motivation - Week 7: I needed good news!

Setting the table at our first anniversary/homewarming party - November 2007

Next week is our 3rd anniversary, so I thought the above picture was appropriate. It occurs to me that I seem to like a lot of pics of myself from the fall of '07. Innnnnteresting. I wonder how much of that is how much I weighed/how I looked and how much of it was how much of a good time I was having at that point in my life? Things to think about: does our inner happiness shine through in pictures and/or does our memory of the time the picture was taken affect the way we view the pic?

Anyway, this weeks stats.

CURRENT WEIGHT: 155.2lbs
WEIGHT LOST THIS WEEK: 1.0lb
TOTAL WEIGHT LOST TO DATE: 6lbs
CURRENT CLOTHING SIZE: 8-10
GOAL WEIGHT: 145lbs
GOAL CLOTHING SIZE: 6-8
NUMBER OF WEEKS TO GOAL: 7
LBS TO GOAL: 10.2lbs

Not as good as last week but not too shabby either, especially considering it's been a rough week and I could have turned to bad-for-me foods for comfort. Instead, I managed to add in more exercise than normal, including a very nice and cathartic lunchtime walk with a good friend. Instead of pigging out and spending money at a local restaurant, we donned our walking shoes and chatted while we walked around some local trails. Something I'll have to do/suggest more.

Friday Motivation - Week 6: Getting it done

The above pic is of me and my friend, Mala's, daughter, Evani, in June 2007. Evani was about 4 months old here. I had just got back from my honeymoon in Belize and so was sporting a lovely tan. Man, look how thin my arms and legs were here!!! Of course, Evani has done some growing of her own since then: she'll be 3 early next year!

Good news is, I'm still making solid progress back to being that girl in the pic above.

Here's this weeks stats:

CURRENT WEIGHT: 156.2lbs
WEIGHT LOST THIS WEEK: 1.4lbs
TOTAL WEIGHT LOST TO DATE: 5lbs
CURRENT CLOTHING SIZE: 10
GOAL WEIGHT: 145lbs
GOAL CLOTHING SIZE: 6-8
NUMBER OF WEEKS TO GOAL: 8
LBS TO GOAL: 11.2lbs

If I continue to lose at least 1.4lbs each week, I'll be down to my goal weight exactly on time. Woohoo!

Friday Motivation - Week 5: At Last! Progress!

NEGRIL, JAMAICA, JUNE 2008.

Jamaica has been on my mind this week. First of all, my sister-in-law sent me an email about Christmas gifts and Christmas get-together plans. Secondly, just this morning we had to go and apply for Daisy's passport at the local post office. Finally, I spent most of the morning on the phone with the folks at Delta airlines trying to figure out what I paid $1k per ticket for. (More on that later.)

Jamaica was also the last real vacation that Hubby and I took pre-Daisy and the last time I was any sort of "normal" weight. As all my weight-loss goals are based upon making it back into a bikini by 12/27 when we head back to Negril, I thought this picture was appropriate.

So, let's get to it.

CURRENT WEIGHT: 157.4lbs
WEIGHT LOST THIS WEEK: 1.2lbs
TOTAL WEIGHT LOST TO DATE: 3.6lbs
CURRENT CLOTHING SIZE: 10-12
GOAL WEIGHT: 145lbs
GOAL CLOTHING SIZE: 6-8
NUMBER OF WEEKS TO GOAL: 9
LBS TO GOAL: 12.4 lbs

Wooty woot woot! Yes, I lost MORE THAN a pound this week. I'm soooo happy and so relieved. Maybe this is the beginning of the shedding?

An additional stat: Body Fat% (according to my fancy scale) - 38%. Back when I got the scale (2 months ago @ 161lbs) it was more than 40%! I KNOW! Isn't it ridiculous? Almost 60lbs of fat on my body. BLECH indeed. Anyway, it demonstrates more progress and may indicate at why the scales have not been budging as much - it appears I've lost 4lbs of fat but only 3.6lbs overall, telling me I have indeed been turning fat into muscle.

Enough of the fat/weight/body-image crap.............

Back to what I mentioned in my first para on Jamaica. As you know, Delta Airlines cancelled our direct flight from Sacramento to Atlanta and instead made us take two flights, stopping in Salt Lake City. Then, as you probably also know if you pay attention on this blog or on FB, they moved-up our third flight (the one from Atlanta to Montego Bay) giving us only one hour between flights and little room for delays. I know, nice, right? We get to Jamaica about 90 minutes earlier, which is awesome assuming everything runs on time. If it does not... Ok, I'm not going there, I may have a panic attack.

I think I deserve some kind of discount at this point; if I changed the flights this many times I'm certain the price would have been upped on me. It should work the other way around. Since that's about as likely as Ann Coulter having a crush on President Obama, we'll move on...

As we are traveling with an infant, we need papet tickets and those were issued back in June when I booked them. When I talked to the folks at Expedia after the first flight change, they said new tickets would be issued and sent out to me. I didn't get anything in the mail however, but when I saw the third flight had changed, I assumed that was why and continued to wait. Well, it's more than a month since the original change and I still hadn't received a thing, so I called Expedia back.

NOW their story is that the tickets were never going to be re-issued (that, aparently, was misinformation one of their agents fed to me previously.) However, I did need to go to a Delta ticket office and get my tickets revalidated.

Um, excuse me? WHAT??????

So, I called Delta. The "good" news is that they say we can do it before check-in, we just need to arrive 30 minutes earlier than normal. The bad news is that our flight leaves @ 6:15am, (which, for an international flight, puts us at the airport at 4am either way,) yet the ticket office only opens at 4am.

It just keeps getting better, doesn't it?

I gotta tell ya, thank GOD I know the relaxing properties of that white sand and warm, Caribbean, otherwise I could seriously consider throwing the towel in on this one. The potential for this to be an utter nightmare is huge. I'm brave but not stupid.

But then I hear that reggae beat in my head, feel the warm sun on my skin, and taste the sweetness of a Pina Colada in my mouth... and I realize I may in fact be stupid enough to endure all of this, for that. Sigh...

No shame but no gain

The above picture was taken for Halloween 2007. Dang I was thin. Sigh.

Ok, so let's get straight to it. It was not the successful week I was hoping for.

CURRENT WEIGHT: 158.6 lbs
WEIGHT LOST THIS WEEK: +0.2lbs
CURRENT CLOTHING SIZE: 10-12
GOAL WEIGHT: 145lbs
GOAL CLOTHING SIZE: 6-8
NUMBER OF WEEKS TO GOAL: 10
LBS TO GOAL: 13.6 lbs

Clearly 0.2lbs can be the difference between pre-pee and post-pee, so I'm not going to beat myself up about that. But the reality is that I have not LOST any weight. Again. I'm stuck. I just don't get it.

This week I even instigated an early morning gym session. I got up Monday, Wednesday, and today at 5:30am, dashed off to the gym as quietly as I could, did 30 minutes of cardio, and dashed back before Daisy woke up. My goal was to get there and back in an hour, and I made it each day. On those same days, I still did a 30 minute Total Gym workout. I also did a Power Yoga workout on Thursday.

The only thing left to do, that has worked like gangbusters in the past, is to cut out my evening meal. Eating at night has never really worked for me. When I was at my thinnest, I was skipping that end-of-day meal and eating a snack in the late afternoon instead. This way, the food still has time to burn off.

Mostly, I eat in the evening to be social. Time with hubby, time with family etc... Secondarily, I eat because it makes sure Hubby eats - he needs to eat; we need to change the balance of weight in our relationship. Since Daisy has been born, however, we rarely get to eat together, we usually get take-out, and I eat it so fast that I barely get to taste it. So, it's got to go. That's the change for next week.

As for my hip. Rotten week. My right butt cheek feels like it's been hit with a baseball bat, over and over. I know what this is - a combination of a tight piriformis and tight IT band - but I'm going to have to get ahead of it today and take a muscle relaxant - I can barely sit on it.

Friday Motivation - Week 3

This week's photo is from Thanksgiving of 2007, so less than 2 years ago. It's one of my favorite pictures of myself. For some reason I'm just loving my hair, my skin, my size, and the fact that I look so relaxed. Of course, this is pre hip-surgery (which I'm regretting more and more every day) and pre-baby, so there was a lot less to be stressed about.

Unfortunately, no really great news to report this week.

CURRENT WEIGHT: 158.4 lbs
WEIGHT LOST THIS WEEK: 0.2 lbs
CURRENT CLOTHING SIZE: 10-12
GOAL WEIGHT: 145lbs
GOAL CLOTHING SIZE: 6-8
NUMBER OF WEEKS TO GOAL: 11
LBS TO GOAL: 13.4 lbs

The weeks are going down but the pounds aren't. I started at a place of needing to lose one pound per week and now I need to lose one and a quarter pounds per week.

So, time to own up. What's going on?

1. Nabisco Iced Animal Crackers, that's what's going on! Blame Hubby for sneaking them into the shopping cart last weekend while I was trying to prevent Daisy from using it as a teething ring. Ok, since this blog post is about accountability, that's not really fair. I didn't have to eat them.
2. I'm just not getting enough cardio exercise. The Total Gym is an awesome circuit workout but I need to get my heart-rate up for 30 minutes or more at least three days a week. I hate to say it but I need to get up early and head back to the gym. I have absolutely no excuse as to why I cannot. Daisy hasn't been rising until 7am or later recently and so I could quite conceivably get up at 5am, head-out to the gym, do a 30 minute cardio workout, and be back by 7am.

On the plus side, I have worked out every single day this week. Three pretty strenuous 30 minute Total Gym workouts and two power yoga workouts. I've, generally speaking, been drinking more water (which is also a big issue I have - I just don't drink) and I haven't been skipping meals (which I have a tendency to do when I'm desperate to lose the poundage.)

I do have to say that I am noticing a change in the shape of my body. My abs are definitely getting tighter and flatter, although the big glob of skin and fat left over from carrying an 8lbs baby on a 5foot 1inch frame, is still there wobbling around. Essentially, I think, this is my remaining my key barrier to fitting in to smaller pants. (Which makes me wonder if it's going to be curable by exercise and diet alone.) In addition, I'm now fitting into many of my pre-pregnancy tops, if a little more snugly than I did before. I also felt-up my own ass yesterday and it feels pretty firm (and given that I'm my own harshest critic, that's saying something.) So, I am noticing progress in other areas, if not on the scale.

Therefore, specific goals for next week are:

1. Get up early and head to the gym for some cardio 3 days a week.
2. Keep up the good work on the regular exercise.
3. Continue to drink more water and stay hydrated.
4. Stop snacking on the animal crackers or any other goodies that my Skubby (Skinny+Hubby) smuggles in.
5. Continue to make even better choices with food.

Ok, I'm liking the specific goals for next week. Let's see if they show up on the scale!

Friday Motivation - Week 2 (On Monday)

Since I was on a business trip last week, I missed the opportunity to post my Friday Motivation picture and stats. However, since I'm not one to puss-out and use all that fattening conference food as an excuse, I weighed myself on Saturday morning and am posting Saturday's Friday Motivation on Monday. (Ahem)



This week's picture is from our honeymoon in Belize in June of 2007. Here I'm sitting on top of El Castillo, a Mayan pyramid at the ruins in Xunantunich. I chose this one because I'm not the smallest I've ever been here but I'm toned and comfortable with myself which, quite frankly, are two factors more important to me than any number on the scale.

That aside, I do need something to measure my goals by, so here we go with the dreaded stats. Not much to celebrate over except to say that I didn't put on weight last week, despite not working out, drinking like a fish, and eating conference food.

CURRENT WEIGHT: 158.6 lbs
WEIGHT LOST THIS WEEK: 0.4 lbs
CURRENT CLOTHING SIZE: 10-12
GOAL WEIGHT: 145lbs
GOAL CLOTHING SIZE: 6-8
NUMBER OF WEEKS TO GOAL: 12
LBS TO GOAL: 13.6 lbs

I guess I just need to do better this week.

As for my trip... man it was exhausting. 3 days of being in sales mode from 7am to 11pm - breakfast, lunch, dinner, cocktails (and boy, were there cocktails!) That said, it was the longest stint of time that I've spent just being "me" since Daisy was born. It was at once freeing and alien. I was so busy most of the time that, although I missed her, I was doing fine. That was until I saw a mommy and her baby bouncing around in the hotel pool on the last day, which brought tears to my eyes and sent me checking-out and speeding home.

During my conference, however, I had somewhat of a revelation.

When I couldn't get on one of the 3 working cardio machines at the hotel "fitness center" on Thursday morning, I decided instead to don a pair of jeans, some sneakers and two layers of sweater (because it was about 30 degrees!) and take a long walk to-and-from Starbucks. It was about one third of the way there, as I was striding in full-force down the strip, that I realized that my hip didn't hurt. Not one iota. Not my hip, not my thigh, not my knees. (My pinkie toe is another issue we won't address here.) For the first time, it actually occurred to me that I felt... well... normal! This was elating but surprising because I had been traipsing around all Wednesday in ridiculously high-heeled boots and had spent a good portion of my day on my feet in said high-heeled boots.

Was it the altitude? The crisp morning air? Of course, it definitely got me to wondering, especially when I woke up on Saturday morning after my first afternoon/night home, feeling as though I'd been hit by a truck.

The variables from my conference days in Tahoe as opposed to my regular days at home were:

1. More time on my feet/standing
2. Wearing high-heels
3. Less time on the computer
4. Drinking more alcohol
5. Different bed

So I concluded that I need to stand all day in high-heels with a cocktail in my hand? Sounds nice but but, of course, I'm joking.

What I can tell you is that this week I am going to:

1. Research a new matttress - especially after a horrible Saturday night where every part of me hurt, leading me to have a ridiculously tight illiopsoas that resulted in me needing a muscle-relaxant and a 600mg of ibuprofen before bed last night.
2. Sit straighter in my chair (can already attest that I am doing that as I write this post)
3. Get up more often from my desk and walk around/stretch (need to finish this post and then I will)
4. Buy new sneakers
5. Stop wearing flip-flops, even my orthopedic ones, when I go out (the cooler weather will help there)

I'd like to add drink apple-martinis in place of water there but I doubt that would do my weight or my liver any good.

So, we'll see if that makes any difference.

Friday Motivation - Week 1

In the quest to shed the baby weight, I am trying to find ways to publicly hold myself accountable (aka: shame myself) for the weight loss.

So, I have decided to do 2 things here on this blog every Friday moving forward.

1) I will post a picture of myself thinner.
2) I will report my actual weight and any loss/gain from the previous week

I expect to be soundly boo'd if I put on weight or stagnate and profusely congratulated if I lose so much as an ounce.

For week one, I have chosen a pic from me back in 2004 when I was on vacation in Greece. Here I am standing at the intersection of the Aegean and Mediterranean Seas in Prasonissi, Rhodes. Approximate weight here... 135lbs.



And now to today...

CURRENT WEIGHT: 159.0 lbs
CURRENT CLOTHING SIZE: 10-12
GOAL WEIGHT: 145lbs
GOAL CLOTHING SIZE: 6-8 (because this would mean I could actually wear 90% of the clothes in my wardrobe)
NUMBER OF WEEKS TO GOAL: 13
LBS TO GOAL: 14lbs

(And yes, it's still a fact that I am only 2lbs shy of the weight I was when Daisy was 6 weeks old. ACK!)

Bring on the shame!