Talk about some CRAPPY luck

Hubby and I heard this story on Good Morning America this morning and couldn't believe it. I think my criteria for a "bad day" is forever changed...

'It Wasn't My Time': Teen Escapes Death Twice

Best Friends Survive Car Accident; Helicopter Rescue Leads to Catastrophe

By JEFFREY L. DIAMOND and DEBORAH ROBERTS

Feb. 27, 2009—

Jordan Wells, a college freshman from Waldorf, Md., was home for a weekend reunion in September when her life changed forever. She survived a car accident, only to be involved in a medevac helicopter crash on the way to the hospital that killed everyone else on board.

"I woke up in the woods and it was dark and it took a second to realize what happened," she told "20/20." "And I was just in a lot of pain and I was cold. And then I realized the helicopter had crashed. And I was all alone, not knowing if anyone was going to save me. I was definitely in pain, because I had bones sticking out everywhere."

"I was really scared," she said. "So I started yelling for help. I was thinking, 'am I going to die out here or is someone going to find me?'"

Jordan Wells and her best friend Ashley Younger were part of a tight-knit group of kids living in Waldorf. Jordan Wells, 18, was a swimmer and Ashley Younger, 17, was into dancing.

"Jordan was the one who always kept us together," her friend Joanna Potts said. "She was always making plans and always had an idea. Like every weekend she would always want to do something. [Jordan] was like the glue to our group."

And Ashley Younger, "she was really funny, easy to talk to," friend Kevin Holmes said. "I was always laughing with her ... never a dull moment. She was like a sister to me."

On Saturday, Sept. 27, 2008, Ashley Younger told her mother she was going to meet Jordan Wells at a carnival.

"And then she said they were going to the mall," Stephanie Younger said. "And from there, she called me. She said, 'Well ma, I think I'll be home in a little while.'"

Jordan Wells was behind the wheel of her car at 11 p.m., driving on slippery roads.

"I was driving and it was raining really, really hard that night," she said. "I don't remember how fast I was going, but I sure was saying to Ashley, I was like, 'I'm about to lose control.' And so before I knew it, it was going across the median and it was like bump, bump, bump, and we hit a tree."

Within minutes of the crash, police and ambulances arrived at the scene.

"As we came around the curve, we saw the accident," said Lou Ramer, an emergency medical technician who was one of the first to arrive. "We saw the cars on the opposite side of the road, the haze, the smoke. And I could hear a lot of yelling from the two female voices. There was a lot of hysterics there. They were yelling and screaming."

Bill Rudolph, another medical technician, began helping the two girls. Ashley Younger complained that her head and chest hurt but Jordan Wells, who was also in pain, seemed more worried about the damage to her father's car.

Helicopter Rescue Turns to Tragedy

Jordan Wells wanted to tell her parents about the crash but in the confusion, she lost her cell phone. Her parents, Scott and Lynn Wells, had no idea their daughter had been in a car accident.

"She wasn't home yet, so I started texting her and never got a response," Lynn Wells said. "I kept on trying until about 2 in the morning, never heard anything. So at that point, I just went to bed. "

Scott Wells said he thought his daughter was just out late.

"We knew who she was with," he said. "And so I wouldn't say we were overly concerned at that point."

Ashley Younger reached her mother on her cell phone.

"I said, 'oh Lord, are you OK?' And she said, 'My chest is hurting,'" Stephanie Younger said. "So we jumped in the car and the accident was maybe three, not even three, four minutes from my house. And that's when we saw Ashley and Jordan in the car."

Paramedics were trying to get the girls out of the car and determine the extent of their injuries. Stephanie Younger said a paramedic told her that they weren't sure how serious her daughter's injuries were and that the girls would be taken to the hospital in a medevac helicopter.

Paramedic Michael Lippy and medical technician Tanya Mallard frantically treated their injuries while trying to keep the girls calm. Pilot Stephen Bunker received weather information from air traffic control.

Just before liftoff, Stephanie Younger consoled her daughter one last time.

"She was just crying and I kissed her. She was just nervous, and I said, 'you're going to be fine, sweetie. We'll be there waiting on you,'" she said. "And she kind of calmed down."

At 11:45 p.m., the helicopter took off for the 25-mile flight to the emergency room at Prince George's County Hospital. But almost from the moment of liftoff, Bunker knew he was in trouble. It was raining much harder than he'd been told and there was a dense fog. Jordan Wells began to panic again.

"I remember taking off," she said. "I remember flying. I remember kind of looking out the window, seeing a building. I remember feeling the helicopter trying to land. But he said he couldn't land because it was raining too much. And he said, 'we're going to turn around and take you to southern Maryland.' And I think I remember us hitting the first tree and that's when my face hit the side of the helicopter. ... And that's when I blacked out."

The chopper, with the pilot, the medical technicians and the girls on board, crashed into the woods a few miles from Andrews Air Force Base. It smashed into thousands of pieces, the wreckage strewn through the forest. Jordan Wells woke up in the woods, cold, in pain and alone.

'We Prayed for Her'

At the hospital, Stephanie Younger was waiting for her daughter to arrive in the helicopter, but emergency personnel began to worry when it disappeared from radar.

Technician Rudolph said, "I kept saying little prayers, like it's going to be all right, it's going to be all right."

After midnight, dozens of rescue workers begin combing the thick woods surrounding Andrews Air Force Base. For two excruciating hours, Jordan Wells lay helplessly on the ground shivering, surrounded by debris, soaked in fuel.

"Did anyone else survive?" she said she asked herself as she drifted in and out of consciousness.

"I could hear someone looking for me, and they were running for me, and I like saw them come to me, and I just felt relief," she said. "Felt like God answered my prayer."

Jordan Wells was rushed by ambulance to the hospital, where Stephanie Younger had just learned about the crash.

"We overheard someone say that the helicopter crashed," she said. "And the only person [who] came in was Jordan. And to hear it like that, it was, you know, it was still hard to believe [Ashley Younger] was gone."

At 4. a.m., the Wells received a phone call informing them of the accident.

"We went to the emergency room and I knew something different was up because the head doctor was right there, and he's saying things like, 'you know, your daughter was the sole survivor of a helicopter crash,'" Scott Wells said. Dirt and helicopter fragments were embedded deep into Jordan Wells' body. Her cheekbone, nose, eye socket and shoulder blade were broken, and five disks along her spine were dislodged. Her legs were completely shattered, a bloody mangle of muscle, bone and skin. "We just put our hands on her and prayed for her," Scott Wells said.

After several hours of surgery, Jordan Wells was transferred to the Baltimore Shock Trauma Center. For 10 days, doctors operated to put her back together. Heavily sedated, she was unaware of the desperate measures to save her legs.

When she woke up, the first thing she did was apologize to her father for crashing the car.

"And I'm like, I don't care about that car," Scott Wells said. "But it was just so good to hear her talk again."

The doctors fought to contain the infection in Jordan Wells' right leg, but it was a losing battle.

"I remember waking up in the morning in the hospital and seeing my pinkie toe was gone and then my next toe was gone," she said. "Every time I went into surgery they took a little piece off my foot. [And] my doctor told me how it was going to be if I kept it and it would be infected. And he told me the best thing to do is to amputate."

'It Wasn't My Time to Leave Yet'

As her sedatives wore off, she not only confronted the fate of her leg but she also began asking about her friend Ashley Younger.

"The same day they told me they had to get my leg amputated, was the same day my dad told me that Ashley had died," she said.

Jordan Wells was the only survivor of the helicopter crash, and two months and 20 operations after the crash, she left the trauma center.

When she finally came home, it was "fantastic" for her parents.

"Her friends arranged a reception for her," Scott Wells said. "They were sitting in front of the house with a banner, screaming and yelling and videotaping and just welcoming her home."

Now home, Jordan Wells requires around-the-clock care. A parade of visitors and friends are always around, lending a hand ... and a laugh. But her recovery has been slow and painful; she is almost totally dependent on her parents.

"I think it's pretty tough because my mom has to stay by my side for everything," Jordan Wells said. "So she does like everything for me."

Three weeks ago, she attended a National Transportation Safety Board hearing in Washington investigating her crash and others involving medevac helicopters.

Preliminary findings suggest that the emergency chopper should have stayed on the ground that stormy night. Air traffic controllers, the report says, were "casual and sloppy," relaying a misleading weather report to the pilot that sent him straight into thick, blinding fog. For families of the dead, questions linger about why the girls were airlifted instead of sent by ambulance to the hospital. Questions, of course, that will never bring back Ashley Younger.

"Even now I think about her, I just see her smiling ... just always full of laughs and joy and she loved people," Stephanie Younger said. "We were always together, always. She was my best friend as well as my daughter. She just feels like a hole in my heart."

Scott Wells said, "Jordan told me not long ago, she said, losing Ashley hurts more than all the physical pain. And she cries sometimes uncontrollably over this, over the loss of her friend, Ashley."

Added Lynn Wells: "She says her heart hurts."

Her parents say she often wakes up with nightmares, reliving the night of the crash. But she is trying to put her life back together. Two days ago, to a rousing reception, she visited her high school. She said she knows how lucky she is to be alive.

"I guess everyone keeps telling me that God has a purpose for me," she said. "That it wasn't my time to leave yet."

Copyright © 2009 ABC News Internet Ventures

I remember when...

This is a bit of a wake-up call to all of us who complain about modern conveniences. It's also pretty hilarious, so enjoy!

A belated Valentines weekend report

God, I've been so busy lately that it's been all-but impossible to post to two blogs. Today I decided to make the time to report back on my Valentines weekend because, quite frankly, my Hubby deserves the props.

For Christmas Hubby bought me quite possibly THE MOST perfect present ever: two tickets to see the musical Wicked in San Francisco on Valentines Day, a reservation at a fancy French restaurant, and a night in my favorite Union Square hotel. Even so, we were a little worried that, by the time cupid's special day rolled around, I would be so pregnant and uncomfortable that sitting for hours in a theatre would be ill advised.

It turned out to be the perfect distraction at the perfect time. As I've said, work has been a tad overwhelming of late and by last Friday afternoon I was so exhausted that I uncharacteristically collapsed on the couch and snoozed my way through the last three work hours of the week. Getting out of dodge was just the ticket.

So, to cut a long story short:

We dined at Fleur de Lys. Totally decadent. Thousands of dollars of expensive fabrics - silks, velvets, brocades - lining the walls and ceiling around us, and a gentle, romantic hue of pink/peach in the lighting. The menu was set into five or six courses (I can't remember exactly how many at this point - its a blurr!) with a choice for the main entree. I love it when you get a fixed menu because it means you end up trying a bunch of weird stuff you would never have ordinarily ordered for yourself. Hence, I can't remember 75% of what was on our plates for the first three 'appetizer' courses but I do know that there were artistic, mini concoctions of foie gras, caviar, chestnut mousse, skate wing, chick-pea fries, and saukraut (odd, I know, I associate with German) - some, untouching, on the same plate, some on different plates. Some I loved, some I appreciated, some I narrowly resisted the urge to spit out. Still, I loved every minute of it. Better still was the entertainment - a thoroughly self-absorbed Asian-male-20-something and his bored-to-tears date that sat next to us.

We got WICKED. Ok, I'm going to say the seemingly unforgivable: Wicked (as in the '90s slang for "cool") it was not. Maybe it was because everyone I know had hyped this thing up so much that there was nowhere for it to go but sliding off its pedestal, but I was a tad disappointed. Don't get me wrong, it was definitely well-produced, well-directed, and well-cast and I enjoyed myself immensely. BUT... and here's the thing... I was thoroughly underwhelmed by the score. Here was I expecting a series of rousing, stick-in-your-head songs and all I got was a bunch of forgettable, run-of-the-mill, Broadway wailings that seemed to run into and overwhelm one another.

First of all, there was just too much singing. I know, it's a musical, songs and singing are sort of de rigeur. But, instead of writing several great songs to punctuate major moments/milestones in the script, it was one of those musicals that seemed to insist that every other word needed to be sung. This resulted in a cacaphony of dissonant, emotionally unenvolving musical numbers that overwhelmed the script and only seemed to slow down the progression of the story line. It didn't help that the Orpheum Theatre's sound system wasn't exactly loud and booming and sometimes you had to strain to hear and understand specific words in order to follow what was going on in the narrative (because, again, almost every word was sung.)

Second of all, I read the book by Gregory McGuire several years back and, I have learned, there is nothing to be gained but disappointment from any musical, movie, or TV adaptation of a good book. Everything I loved about the book was absent from the musical: The dark, eccentric, quirkiness of it, and the sense of a real, complex inner-struggle against the very nature of good and evil. Instead, in its place, the musical focused on some over-amped, overly-G-rated relationship between the two witches (the "good" one being an on-stage witchy recreation of Reece Witherspoon in Legally Blond), especially in the first act. The result was that the first and second halves of the musical seemed slightly disconnected in theme and tone - the first was like "Hello Green Dolly" and the second half was more like "I'm Green and Miserables." It didn't gel for me and, as I said, missed a great opportunity to take some of the book's key characteristics to the stage and do something truly different and engaging.

I know a lot of people who rave over this show. I have to say I enjoyed it for what it was but I was definitely disappointed based upon the expectations they had given me, which it didn't meet by a very long shot.

Oh, one highlight of the evening - a $30 (yes $30!!!!) onesie we bought for the baby that says "Green Babies Rule" on the front and "Wicked" on the butt (appropriately enough). I just could not resist.

We slept in a luxury suite at the Hotel Monaco. And it was THE BEST night's rest I'd had in more than a week. Lots of plump, hotel pillows, a pillow-top mattress, and coffee and juice in bed before watching George Stephanopolous on Sunday morning. Sigh...

We brunched at my favorite SF restaurant, The Grand Cafe. We hadn't planned on it but it's attached to the Hotel Monaco and, while the Bell Hop unloaded our suitcases from the car at check-in, I peeked at the brunch menu on the wall and about had a canyptic fit at the overwhelming delicious sounding menu. This time I CAN tell you exactly what I had and it was an orgasm in my mouth: Crêpes Flambé - Banana Foster rum sauce, vanilla pastry cream filled crêpes, and candied pecans. Dear God, it could not have been a more delicious conclusion to a fantasic 24 hours if it tried.

Then Hubby drove us home in the pouring rain and we returned to our couch-potato positions from Friday night, thoroughly exhausted from just too much excitement in such a short period of time. Of course, if you had told me 6 years ago that this would all constitute "too much excitement", I would have laughed in your face and quite possibly gone into a spontaneous panic attack. It's amazing what being 7 months pregnant and 34 with a busy job will do to you.

So, to my fantastic Hubby I reiterate what I said in this year's Valentines Day card - many women dream of having a husband like you, only I am lucky enough to actually have one.

-----------------

Footnote: for those of you who are tempted to rain on my parade about how this will be the last valentines day like this for us because once the baby comes, blah blah blah, I have this knife to twist right back at ya: My parents don't "do" Valentines Day. Guess that makes them free to babysit!

High five for a GOOD weekend!

They say that God never gives you any more than you can handle and just when I was at the end of my pain tolerance tether on Friday, Saturday and Sunday presented themselves as virtually pain free. Suddenly walking wasn't a wince-step-wince-step process, the majority of pressure/pain in my pubic bone seemed to subside (but is still there... I'm not kidding myself,) and lifting a foot up to get into Hubby's car was no longer a deep-breath experience.

I can't tell you what exactly is working because I've been doing so many things at the same time - chiropractor, massage, stretching, walking, pre-natal workouts, kegels, moist heat, and the sexy prenatal cradle - but I'm just glad that whatever it is, well, is.

It was a beautiful weekend weather wise - high 60s, clear and sunny - and so I just had to get out of the house on Saturday morning and be active. So, I went to the gym. No, don't shake your head. I went not because of some stubborn refusal to accept my situation or to lose weight or any of that, I went because all of a sudden it sounded like the most enjoyable thing to do that morning.

I have to say that it was the perfectly right thing to do. I did some light weights, high reps for my upper body, going slowly and carefully, some balance-ball squats (which I already do at home with my prenatal workouts) and some light cardio, slow walking on the treadmill and on the elliptical trainer. I was slow and cautious on everything I did and listened to my body - when something didn't feel right, I stopped or changed positions. It lifted my mood so much, I had forgotten how much working out was a part of my mental and emotional health as well as my physical health. Better still, yesterday, although I had some mild muscle soreness from using muscles I haven't engaged in a while, I hadn't made anything worse. In fact, my pelvis felt great yesterday (or as great as it can feel when you're 7 months pregnant and the hormone relaxin is making everything pop-and-click from your back to your knees.) Hence, I plan to go at least 3x a week now moving forward. This may seem crazy to many of you who hate the gym with a passion but this very prospect, just the thought of going and being active and amongst people, lifting weights and making my body stronger, makes me giddy with excitement for this week. For all these reasons, I know it's the right thing to do.

Saturday afternoon I spent walking around the Folsom Outlets (one of the few outdoor shopping places in Sac), where I couldn't resist a mega Sale in the Carters outlet store, buying two long-sleeved play rompers, one with green frogs and one with yellow chicks. So cute!

In the evening, Hubby took me on a tour of some beautiful view lots in El Dorado Hills that he had recently shown one of his buyer clients. The lots look out over the confluence of the American River and Folsom Lake and were absolutely amazing - as were the homes already built around them. Sigh... the world of homes over $2million. Personally, I'm just waiting for an invite to the housewarming party ;o)

Sunday morning was brunch with a very good friend of mine who I haven't seen for what seems like FOREVER. We chatted for three hours (past lunch time) and still had to cut it short with a plan to see each other again soon. I love good conversation and time with friends - it's so energizing - and it really pumped me up for the rest of the day. In the afternoon we visited a friend of Joss' who had a baby shower gift for us, then came home and watched about 45 minutes of the SuperBowl (about all I could stand either way) before heading out to a restaurant that overlooks the American River for a sunset dinner.

I mean, how could it have been a better weekend than THAT? Ok, I know, not pregnant and punctuated by a couple of martinis, but given my current situation that was the best I could hope for.

This week is going to be really, really, busy for me with lunches and breakfasts with friends, an ObGyn appointment, lots of work appointments, and two evenings in baby classes. This is something I'm looking forward to. I like to be busy. I find that the more I have to do, the more I get done and the more I have energy to do.

It feels good to feel good, if you know what I mean. The last three weeks have been a hard slog both physically and emotionally.

Unfortunately, my fun weekend meant no housework or laundry got done - absolutely none. Groan. There's always a cloud to your silver lining.

TM-F/UP

Yesterday Hubby got a voicemail from someone to tell him that they had sent him an email to request that he call someone else to let them know that he would be calling them tomorrow.

I suggested that he send the caller an email and follow-up with a voicemail to confirm the receipt of the email and to verify his intent to call the third party both before and after calling them.

There is such a thing as too much follow-up. (TM-F/UP)

Musings on being 34

This past weekend I turned 34 years old. While most people past the age of 30 hope they don't feel any different the day after turning a year older, this year I'm hoping I do.

33 wasn't the easiest year of my life. After the excitement of planning a wedding and getting married in '06 and then starting a new job, working from home, and buying a new house in '07, 2008 turned out to be a year to bring me back down to earth. Primarily, it was the year of losing control of my body.

In March, as you all know by now, I subjected myself to hip surgery and the long, frustrating recovery that, while beginning swiftly and promisingly, only really started to show real results 8 months later (of course, I seem to have set that all back recently but that's a different topic.)

Then, in August I got pregnant and for 3 months turned into an entirely different person - a zombified version of my former self who could barely drag my ass off the couch, let alone be productive at work or at home.

Getting pregnant then set-off a whole stream of thoughts, a sort of stock-taking of my life: The things I had achieved, the opportunities I had passed up, the dreams I hadn't fulfilled. All of which sent me into a sort of depressed state. I can't say I was what you would call formally or clinically 'depressed' exactly but more inwardly focused and a little melancholy. I seemed to have achieved so much and yet felt such little joy and satisfaction from it. I couldn't help but focus on the things that I hadn't done and that, of course, stripped the happiness out of what I already had right in front of me. Rationally, logically, unemotionally, I know that this is all stupid and that I have so much to be grateful for but emotionally, irrationally, and illogically, I have been unable to shake the melancholy. (Not being able to perk myself up with a Friday-night martini, incidentally, hasn't helped!)

Sometimes being so self-aware and such a logical thinker is great, other times its a frustrating inner tug-of-war between emotion and reason. Outwardly I know I seem to radiate logic and rationality, black-and-white decisions and thought-processes, but this struggle is often present behind-the-scenes. I deal with the emotional internally and then I express the rational results externally. Sometimes this process takes a matter of seconds, sometimes it takes months. I'm also guessing that there are some processes that began years ago and that I'm still not expressing externally as a result. The very fact that I don't think I have articulated this very process of mine in writing or verbally to anyone before is evidence of that! (Also, probably why people think I am such an open book and yet I frequently feel that most people don't know or understand me at all.)

That mini-epiphany slash insight into my inner psyche aside, I'm heading for a whole other set of "loss of control" moments in my life as a 34 year old this year. Already I am dealing with the resurgence of hip pain caused from my yoga incident and who knows what the aftermath of birth will bring for me in terms of physical recovery (and let's not forget the weight loss!) It's no secret that I am not good at dealing with physical limitations, pain, or discomfort - and yes, I realize this is going to make me a very ornery old person (sorry Hubby) - so 2009 is going to present it's own challenges for sure.

In that, I realize that I have two options: (1) Wallow in the pain, discomfort, and loss of control or (2) Do what I can to get through it/get healthy, take each day as it comes, and enjoy the other small pleasures that are still a part of my existence every day.

Small pleasures LIKE:

• Having the flexibility to work from home and having latitude and decision-making capability at my job.
  
• Getting paid fairly well and not worrying about being laid-off or losing my health insurance.
  
• Looking out my back windows or sitting on my deck, taking in our beautiful back yard at any time of day, even on a work day, after years sitting in a cubical farm with no natural light.
• Watching my dogs play and fight with one another. Appreciating the completely unconditional joy and love they express whenever they see me. (Even if they are a pain in the ass.)
  
• Having and spending time with THE WORLD'S BEST husband who is caring, thoughtful, intelligent, hard-working, fun to be around, and my very best friend.
• Planning for the arrival of my parents who, in their early 60s, are picking up their entire existence to move to the U.S. to be closer to me and my growing family.
• Having a healthy pregnancy and (all signs suggest so far) a healthy baby, when so many I know have gone through so much for even the chance at the same thing.
• Reading a good book and enjoying a cup of hot-chocolate in front of the fire place.
• Being thankful that George Bush is no longer the President (on this of all days, I couldn't resist that one.)

I'm sure there are a lot more where those came from but those are the ones that come to mind easily.

I firmly believe (and have always believed) that everything in life is a choice (whether we like the options before us or not) and that we, for the most part, are responsible for our own happiness and outcomes. (I know, how right-wing of me!) So, I need to be more than just a philosophical subscriber to that belief, I need to somehow get myself back on track to being an active participant.

So, this is my mission in my 34th year: Don't just look forward, look around. Remember that life and happiness are not destinations they are journeys. We may not always get to decide exactly what path we take but we can decide whether we enjoy ourselves along the way.

WOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

The new home page of
www.whitehouse.gov

Bush... don't let the door hit you on the way out.
On, second thoughts, I hope it gives you a good smack on the ass.

Outstanding

It's been a while since I got to steal a good Jon Stewart clip for my blog, but thanks to The Gurly Life's reminder, here's a great one to see out the horrifying presidency of George Bush. May he always be remembered as this completely dumb.

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c

Six Days Seven Nights

Barack Obama Interview
John McCain Interview

Sarah Palin Video
Funny Election Video

The return of the hip

If you've been reading my pregnancy blog, you'll know that I strained my groin and hip during a pre-natal yoga workout last week.

To say that I'm mortified is an understatement.

After months and months of struggling with post-surgery pain, tightness, and discomfort, the last 3-4 months had presented a slow breakthrough. I don't know when it stopped hurting or being an issue but I can tell you that it just did. I didn't need the regular massages that were costing me hundreds of dollars per month and the pre-natal workouts I'd been doing since month 4 of my pregnancy seemed to be doing all the right things to strengthen and stretch the muscles of my hip and thigh.

I'd almost forgotten how much those issues had taken over my life until I heard the "pop" last Thursday.

I was performing a side-angle bend and (stupidly) wearing socks on a carpeted floor. My foot slipped out to the side a little - but just enough - and I was forced to contract my adductors and hip flexors to maintain my balance, trying to bring my legs back together. But my legs were already too far apart - I would have been better to just topple sideways, ironically. I heard and felt an eye-watering "pop" somewhere around my sacrum and I dropped to my knees. When I tried to get up again, I had a searing pain in my groin.

I've been icing and resting like crazy (yes, it's very pleasant to ice your groin... not) since then and, while there has been a slight improvement in pain, it's still really, really sore deep inside and most specifically on the side where I had surgery. It figures, of course, because that's my weakest side. I can tell that all the old pain-points are inflamed: Piriformis, psoas, adductors, and glutes, as well as a little IT band again (probably over-compensating as a result.) Walking for too long is not an option (not that it would be anyway because of my broken little toe on the same side.)

I have a massage appointment on Friday with my miracle-worker masseuse but I also realize that her usual techniques may not be in play due to the fact I am pregnant. She's better placed than most to tackle these issues because she has a ton of foam positioning equipment that allows me to lay safely on my back or stomach (well, not ON my stomach but lay facing down with my stomach hanging between some carefully-placed foam pads.) So, I'm hoping she can take the edge off.

In the meantime, I know I just have to wait for the muscles to heal. I'm trying to keep the joint mobile by not sitting too long and performing light stretches and exercises from my post-surgery days but I've already recognized that I have to be careful there also - the muscles just need to do their thing and I can't speed along the healing process for them any more than I can for my broken toe. Too much tinkering on my side just makes it all worse and sets the healing process back.

More than anything I am really frustrated. I just thought I was over this. I guess I need to realize that, even when things start to feel better again in my hip (which I know they will again at some point - I just want it to be sooner rather than later), I have a weakness on that side and I can't jump into every exercise routine without that being top-of-mind. They say that, once you've injured a joint or muscle, that area will always be more suseptible to re-injury. I guess you only have to look at athletes to see that's true - they get one injury and then continue to struggle with re-straining those same areas, time and time again. Fortunately for them they have sports-therapists attending their every need. I only wish!

Anyway, that's enough of me feeling sorry for myself. It just sucks because I want to remain active in these last few months of pregnancy, for me, for the baby, for my weight, but it seems factors (or should I say body parts) are conspiring against me. My head says "get exercising" but my body says "rest". Right now, I'm too afraid of making it worse not to listen to my body.

Random rants about the hiring process...

I'm currently in the process of hiring for a part-time sales coordinator; someone who can not only help with some of the more routine/admin aspects of my job but can also keep things ticking along while I'm OOO on maternity leave. We're a small company (smaller as of late due to economic hits), so there's nobody to slough this stuff off to when I'm gone.

When I placed the ad on Craigslist on Friday, I knew that I would be getting a lot of resumes. The Sacramento region's jobless rate is hovering at an unpleasant 8.1% and state workers are facing 2 furlough days a month and/or an uncertain job future due to California's budget crisis. What I mistakenly assumed, however, is that this would increase the caliber of applicants.

Um, yeah, right.

I'm color coding the emailed applications I'm getting - green for call to schedule for interview, orange for maybe, and yellow for not likely unless you were the last unemployed employee on earth. Out of about 100 applicants, I'm standing at a solid 4 greens, 20 oranges, and 76 yellows. I'm sure that's pretty typical for any open position - it certainly has been for other positions I've applied for - but what's outstanding is the sheer haplessness/idiocy of the yellow folks. It really makes me shake my head in this economy.

I'm not sure if they're just so desperate that they're firing off resumes and cover letters without thinking or if they are really, truly only suited for positions that do not require any reading and writing skills. Anyway, here's a quick bulleted list of things that I've come across since Friday:

• 5 different spellings of our company name. (It wasn't in the ad, so they had to do some research to figure it out... and then got it wrong!)
• The wrong job title.
  
• Cover letter greeting of "Dear Sir". Clearly someone who hasn't been in the workplace since 1950. Probably still calls assistants "secretaries" and flight attendants "stewardesses".
  
• Inability to read that the position is listed clearly as part-time, temporary, and at an hourly rate of $20 - I'm getting people looking for full-time work with a salary history of $60k+ and no explanation in their cover letter as to why they're applying for this position. My automated response now reiterates PT/Temp and I'm getting people email me back to sat they're not interested, after all. Thanks for wasting my time.
  
• A 3-page resume that lists, single-spaced and bulleted, all the applicant's 'achievements' and 'skills' but fails to back it up with any work history. I know this is a 'sales' position, but seriously, there has to be some substance behind all the puffery.
  
• Resume headings in bright-yellow or weird fonts - ie: completely illegible.
• Resume attachments in some out-of-nowhere software application, that can't be opened by any Microsoft program.
  
• Inappropriate use of 'creative' words, no doubt to demonstrate a 'formidable' vocabulary: If I see the word "pique" one more time! And then there's the person who used "belies" instead of "underlies" or (more appropriately) "supports", therefore contradicting what he/she meant to say.
• Word-for-word plagiarism of the ad to create the cover letter.
• Cover letter entirely in "quotations" and center-spaced, bold/italic type. ????
  
• 36-sentence paragraphs that make your eyes boggle.
• Resume with everything in bold, no headings, no spacing or paragraphs.
• Typos - not just the forgivable kind (and I, personally, am guilty of on frequent occasion) but the kind that should be caught easily with spell-checks or a perfunctory review. I'm talking letters clearly missing from multiple words and/or spaces missing from between words!
• Repeat submissions - one a day.
• Tons of people who, apparently, consider themselves to be the "perfect person" for the job. Let me (the employer) be the one to judge that. The use of the word perfect in this case is like "nice" in all other instances - it's a meaningless adjective. Not only is nobody perfect for anything (so, you're delusional) it really tells me nothing about you. See my bottom-line advice below, bullet #2.
  

... and this, of course, is just a sampling that I can rattle-off from the top of my head.

It all makes me wonder how some people get any job. In this climate, it's unlikely that some of these folks will.

The bottom line is that it's pretty easy to stand-out in a crowd of applicants. Here's what I consider essential for getting my attention:

1. Get the name of the company and the position correct. C'mon, seriously!
   
2. Demonstrate that you've really read and considered the ad against your own qualifications and goals by writing a short, concise cover-letter that highlights your relevant experience and achievements. (BTW, achievements = specific results, not just something you "did" - that's what your resume is for. It doesn't need reiteration.)
3. Be sure you've understood what the company needs from you to apply - don't just fire-off a resume when the ad says it requires a cover letter, a salary history, and references. (I didn't request the latter in my case, but this is just an example.) With so many applicants, the person reviewing applications probably won't have time to reply and tell you what you're missing - unless your resume is absolutely spot-on and stellar. (4 out of every 100, so unlikely).
   
4. Check your spelling and grammar. If you know you're no Shakespeare, keep your sentences and words simple - don't over-reach, it's so obvious it's painful to read. Do simple well. Red Flag: if you need to use the thesaurus to find the right word, you probably need to re-word the sentence to better fit your writing skill.
5. Don't brag and list a ton of 'personal qualities' or character traits in your cover letter or resume. No good hiring manager is going to take you at your word anyway. Focus on objective facts - experience, skills, and knowledge. If they match what the company is looking for, you'll get the opportunity to demonstrate that you're "outgoing" and "carefree" in your interview.
6. Unless you're a graphic designer or great at page layout, keep resume design clear and simple. Just like if you're not Shakespeare to writing, if you're not Picasso to design, avoid turning your resume into amateur art work. Do it well or don't waste your energy on it.
7. If you're making a career change, taking a significant pay-cut or step-down from your previous job, address this in the cover letter. Otherwise, it's likely you'll be tossed aside as over or under-qualified and desperate for any old job. There are plenty of good reasons why you no longer want to be a VP or a Director or work full time, and its best to address those reasons openly. This actually puts you ahead of the pack (providing you're being honest to the employer and yourself about your reasons and not just trying to provide a reason to get this job while you're looking for another.) Depending on the position, it can be a great advantage to be an ex-VP who wants to spend more time with your kids!

And thus ends my rant. Perhaps you disagree with a couple of the above and have your own criteria, which is fine. I guess that's the hardest part for the job-seeker - trying to figure out what the person reading the applicatons is looking for. BUT, I maintain that most of the above (with perhaps the exception of #7 and #5) are basic dos and dont's.

New Year's Resolution Update

Just a quick post to say that I just finished writing Chapter One of my book. It may not stay chapter one as I may move things around a bit, but something has been written and saved. Progress has been made. Woohoo.

Enforced optimism and hope: In 2009 I WILL follow my dreams

This is by far my least favorite time of year. Yes, Sacramento's oppressively hot summers come a very close second, but January and February just seem to dump loads of heavy, black coal into my stomach, no matter where I am. The heady excitement of Christmas and New Year is over, all the pretty decorations and party invitations are disappearing one by one, the cold, wet weather now seems oppressive rather than festive, and the only major milestone looming in the near future is the tax filing deadline. Hardly inspiring.

This year the gloom seems more so because Christmas and New Year didn't turn out quite the way we planned and there wasn't even the distracting comfort of drunken debauchery to blurr the memories. So, instead of coming down from a high as I usually am, I feel like I'm grieving for the high that never came. It was a strangely flat holiday season (not horrible just not up to the usual standards), now followed by the even flatter promise of a non-eventful first quarter. Not even a ski trip to break up the monotony.

Work is... well, not going so great. I don't like revealing too much on a public blog but the economy and other circumstances made up for not such a great year for the company. Then, the final quarter of '08 presented some new variables that have me feeling even more unsettled about my professional situation than I usually do. While I have no plans to change jobs in the immediate future (with a baby on the way, now's not the time,) I'm looking more critically at all the possible paths stretched out before me in the longer term.

Personally, as you know, I'm about to jump into the deep end of life - motherhood. I'd like to say that I'm excited and full of joy but mostly I'm full of caution and trepidation. I'm sure that things will change once baby Vixen arrives safely but right now it seems still so far off, like a light you can't see at the end of a very long, dark tunnel. I know there is a light at the end, I know the other side is full of surprises - good and bad - but one thing is certain: when I emerge, I will be in an entirely new and different world and the entrance to the tunnel behind me will be firmly closed. There's no going back. Things will never be the same again. Given my general apathy to how some things in my life have gone in the last 13 years, maybe that's a good thing. Right now, it's just a big black hole of unknowns.

I hate this to sound melancholy because, even though I'm not jumping around with boundless joy, I'm not miserable, just very... pensive right now. I'm thinking about a lot of things, evaluating a lot of things, and trying to stick a red hot fire up my ass to get excited about achieving my 2009 resolutions.

My motto for 2009 is:"Follow my dreams". I know that's not a resolution in itself but it's the basis from which all my specific goals, especially the first, are born this year. I've spent the good part of 13 years following the expected and safe path, avoiding real risk and, with it, the prospect of failure; hiding behind finances, life dramas, and other excuses not to pursue the one dream and desire that has never really left me in all the 33 years of my life during which I've had conscious memory. There's no real reason why this year is the year to push all that other crap aside except to say "If not now, when?"

So, here are my New Year's Resolutions. And on #1, I start today.

1) Write a book.

Without expectation, without self-judgment, and without an end goal (other than completion) in mind. Put aside the fears that I'm not as good of a writer as my once highly-inflated teenage ego thought I was and just write. Every day, even if its just for ten or fifteen snatched minutes. Even if it's terrible and likely that I'll look at it six months from now and press the delete button. Even if everyone who ever reads it thinks it's, ultimately, unexceptional. I'm guessing Picasso didn't paint his first masterpiece on the first canvass he unrolled and I have to get over this weird expectation that I'll put finger to keypad and bestseller magic will instantly unfold on the screen in front of me.

Somewhere in my heart and mind I have harbored a (clearly ridiculous) belief that writing is a gift or a talent that you either have or you don't and that, if you don't automatically spew perfectly-formed prize-winning prose from your fingertips on the first try, you might as well go back to your 9 to 5 job and stop deluding yourself.

Yes, and you thought I was an intelligent, rational human-being. I guess we all have our achilles heel.

Back when I was a kid or in my early teens I was full of confidence and an unswerving belief that I had that magic gift, bolstered by some doting teachers in my school of under-achievers (where a pupil able to spell 'something' without a 'k' was a child genius) and my parents. Then, heading out into the more competitive environments of university and work, I was systematically stripped of my self assurance as I met many other people whose writing was equally as good if not substantially better than mine. Somewhere along the line the stories dried up with the confidence and I found that, when I sat in front of the computer, the passion was gone and every word I managed to get onto the page seemed to taunt me by screaming 'mediocre' right back at me.

I don't think much has changed in my heart but I have now been able to rationalize one thing in my mind - a 'writer' who doesn't write is about as good as a 'singer' who doesn't sing. You may have some natural ability but, unless you practice at it every day, you'll never reach your full potential. Even though I discount those teachers and my biased parents for their praise past, I also feel like there must be something there that made them want to encourage me to go further. So, even if it is a dim spark, it's up to me to turn it into a flame and see how brightly it can burn.

Hence, I will write.

I'm not sure yet if I'm going to report much on my progress here on the blog or if I'll feel confident enough to share anything I write openly with anyone for a while, but I do have a story idea and some characters brewing. My first step (starting today) is to flesh out those ideas into a more complete world; get a basic story structure going and a basic understanding for my characters, so that when I sit down and actually write those first terrifying words, they're not completely aimless. I'm giving myself a week, tops, to do that before I open that word doc and write "Chapter One" at the top. Where it goes from there, we'll see.

Ok, I'll cop to it. Although there's no real reason for 2009 to be the right time to make this happen (in fact, a lot of life-circumstances actually make it seem like the least-likely best time) there was one, small catalyst that recently made me say 'screw it, just do it'. Don't laugh, but it was the Twilight series of books.

Yes, a series of four teenage vampire romances made me want to write again. Think of me what you will but who can say (or judge) what touches each of us when and why?

It wasn't that the books are literary masterpieces, (they're not, even though the author has proved she has chops with her new adult fiction book "The Host") it was more about how the books made me feel. I could not put them down. I lurched from one book to the next with a hunger I haven't felt in a very long time. I was clearing 500 pages in two to three nightly sittings (note: it usually takes me a month to get through a book unless I'm on vacation.) No matter how corny the dialogue and somewhat formulaic the plot, I found myself completely emotionally immersed in the world of Bella and Edward.

I read books one and two so quickly that I was actually afraid that, if I immediately purchased the last two books, I'd be done with the series too soon. So I re-read the first two books, Twilight and New Moon, and actually delayed buying the final two installments until before I went on vacation to England. I promised myself that I could begin book 3 on the plane to the UK and book 4 not until I was on the plane back to the U.S. I actually didn't sleep on the plane back to San Francisco because I read almost all of, book 4, "Breaking Dawn." When I closed the last page of that book the next evening, I was truly sad.

Which is when it hit me. This is why I love books! This is why I wanted to write in the first place. It really has very little to do with intelligent prose and long, fancy words; to me it's about stirring emotions in the reader in a way that almost no other medium can do (at least in my opinion).

This was further solidified when I dragged Hubby to see the movie for the first book, Twilight, last night. Although it was gratifying to see the world of the book come to life on the screen and to put a face to the hero and heroine, there was so much the movie was lacking - and not for a lacking cast or crew. There are things words on a page, echoed in the mind of a reader, can do that a movie or a tv show cannot.

So, I guess it's fair to say that a teenage vampire book is my inspiration. (Note: my story idea is not for a teenage vampire book. I wouldn't even try to compete.)

2) Take a photography course.

This is a new dream/love that I have developed over the past few years.

I've always loved my photographs around my house, memories of good times and places. But recently I've been captivated by a professional photographer's ability to capture that moment (or a person) with depth and emotion. The way they can not just take a picture of a person but somehow capture something about who they really are or what they were feeling in that moment in time. Or, the way they artfully use light and composition in one still frame, to give you the same sense of place and time you had when you were standing there with all five of your senses. I want to learn to do THAT. So, I plan to.

3) Lose the baby weight in less than 3 months

I'm going to do it and there isn't a cotton-pickin' thing you can do to tell me I can't. As the tile on my desk says: "Whether you think you can or think you can't, you're right." I not only think I can do it, I know I can and will. I will be back to 'lean and mean' in less than 12 weeks and that's that.

... and I have a 4th but I'll tell you in person if you want to know.

What are your resolutions for this year?

Our Christmas

LETTER TO THE ROXBURGH HOTEL, EDINBURGH

Dear Sir/Madam,

I recently returned from a 3-night Christmas break at the Roxburghe hotel with my parents and husband. My experience was so incredibly disappointing and so far removed from the promises made in your marketing, that I felt I had to write you a letter requesting some kind of refund on behalf of my mother, Pauline Carter, who booked the stay.

First of all, let me say that my family and I are very well traveled and have stayed at literally hundreds of hotels across the world in the last 20 years. We have had the pleasure of enjoying small, boutique hotels and large, all-inclusive resorts, and have eaten at local family-run establishments as well as 5 star, gourmet restaurants.

So, when your website and marketing materials promised a (and I quote) “traditional Scottish Christmas” in one of your “sumptuous” properties, enjoying “the finest food and great entertainment”, our expectations were, understandably, set pretty high. Further, when the Roxburghe sent us our package of information containing beautiful, slick marketing materials and itinerary containing such words as “gourmet” and “luxury”, we were very excited.

Unfortunately, the reality was far from sumptuous or gourmet. Allow me to beak it down for you, day by excruciating day:

Christmas Eve

Our much anticipated Christmas Eve dinner in the George Suite began with a trip across the street in our finest party wear, freezing cold, as the fire alarm interrupted us placing our order. Apparently a hair dryer was the culprit.

Twenty minutes later, when we were allowed to return to our seats, we were disappointed to note the lack of decoration in the room. A single, slightly leaning 5ft Christmas tree with minimal decoration stood at the front. The only other sign that this was a festive occasion were table crackers at each place setting – crackers which contained such “luxury” delights as one inch square plastic tree decorations that could have been purchased from the local pound store. Otherwise, one could have mistaken this Christmas Eve dinner for one on any other night of the year.

Your Christmas Carolers failed to show up at 8:30pm and so we were left to dine in complete silence, with only the sound of a crying baby at the next table and the clink-clink of silverware on plates in the hushed room. Nobody came up to make an announcement that the carolers would not be arriving, or approached us to apologize, and no other background music was provided to accompany our meal.

At the end of our meal we ordered coffee and were astonished to be warned (in no uncertain terms) by our waitress that coffee would be extra. She repeated this to us twice to ensure that we would be willing to pay two pounds seventy five pence each for the pleasure. Why, for the sake of eleven pounds for four people, you couldn’t just have included this in the price of the break, I don’t know. Of course, we didn’t have any money on us because we had already pre-paid for dinner through our package with you. So, we asked if we could charge the coffee to our room. We were then asked for our cardboard “ticket” in order to do so. We had no idea what the waitress was talking about and she made a big deal out of the fact that we should have received this ticket upon check-in and should have been told to walk around with it when in the hotel. (No such conversation took place at check-in.) When we finally convinced her we couldn’t produce the ticket and were not going to get up before our meal was over and traipse upstairs to rifle through our room to find this mysterious “ticket”, she agreed to charge to our room with a signature, all the time mumbling about how she “wasn’t supposed to be doing this”. It seemed like such a huge hassle - and all for four cups of coffee and eleven pounds when we were paying hundreds of dollars for the whole trip!

Christmas Day

Despite the previous night’s problems, we were still in good spirits for our champagne breakfast and “gourmet” Christmas Lunch in your Melrose restaurant.

Breakfast:

Unfortunately, no champagne or “Bucks Fizz” was offered to us, the fruit juice was warm, and the scrambled eggs wet and cold.

Lunch @ 2pm:

Again, we were sad to see a complete lack of Christmas decoration throughout the restaurant. Aside from the Christmas Crackers again, there was little-to-no sign that today was Christmas Day. We again dined in relative silence with no background music or entertainment.

While we were certainly in no hurry, the pacing of our meal and the service provided was definitely not reflective of a “gourmet” or “luxury” experience. Our main course took a ridiculous 90 minutes to arrive - even with an appetizer and other small plates to try and fill the time, it was an excruciatingly long wait with hard-to-find, inattentive service – it was difficult to even get a drink of water. We received our starter after 30 minutes (in itself a long wait), it then took a further 40 minutes to deliver some horrible small-plate scallop concoction, and another 20 minutes for the main course. When the main course did arrive, it was ridiculously skimpy, stewed, and over-cooked. The turkey was dry, the gravy was thin and runny, and each plate seemed to be on a war rationing for potatoes and vegetables - only one small roast potato and one slice of each vegetable per plate. Everything was luke warm. Sorry but just piling everything ‘artfully’ on the plate and making the serving small does not a gourmet meal make.

With desert and coffee (included this time), we didn’t get out of the restaurant until gone 4pm. Unfortunately, if it was even screened, we missed the Queen’s Speech in your lounge that your brochure made so much of.

Christmas Eve buffet dinner was billed as being with “entertainment”. Of course, by this point we were not expecting much, and you didn’t disappoint. “Entertainment” in this case was a pensioner playing the keyboard… poorly. While this did finally classify as “background music”, entertainment it was not. Further, hot food on the buffet was almost cold and some plates in the buffet line were dirty.

Sipping hot chocolate at 11pm in the Melrose lounge, we were again treated to another fire alarm evacuation. This time we were told it was “dust” in the leisure suite (!?)

Boxing Day

No breakfast was available until the brunch buffet at 11am. Before 11am we either had to pay more for a warm breakfast, or had to sit in the freezing atrium to serve ourselves coffee and a dried-up pastry.

Brunch was the final straw.

We arrived for the 11am brunch at 11:15am. When we got to the buffet line the plates were dirty again. After sorting through 15-20 plates, all of which contained dried-up food from a previous service on top and bottom, we instilled the help of a server. He then went through the entire stack of 30+ plates to find two clean ones. At this point we finally approached the on-duty manager to complain. Although he said he would take care of it, he didn’t seem shocked or appalled and no apology was provided. While my husband and I moved on to get food, my parents and others behind them in line were left to wait while the manager came back with clean plates.

Getting into the buffet line with our two clean plates, only the breakfast half of the buffet line was ready. The other half of the line was empty. So, we took just the breakfast items and went back to our table. Unfortunately, the scrambled eggs, sausages, and bacon we picked up were already wet, cold and inedible. In the time it had taken us to find a clean plate and get our food, the toast had been delivered to our table by the server and was already cold. We considered going back into the long line for the now-arrived roast items but, upon seeing an extremely rare piece of thick-cut beef being pushed around on the plate at an unenthusiastic fellow diner’s table, we decided to just give up.

It was at this point that my mother was so upset that she decided to try and speak with your manager about our experiences thus far. Having paid hundreds of pounds to take us all away on a luxury break for the Christmas holiday (and foregoing presents in the process) she was almost in tears that everything had been so disappointing. I’ll address this exchange later in this letter – yes, even this warrants a complaint.

At 2pm we headed-out to our pre-booked pantomime. I guess we shouldn’t have been surprised to find out that our seats were in the one-before-last row of the theatre – all the way at the top. The face value on our tickets was twelve pounds and we found out that better seats would only have been three pounds more each. Given that this was supposed to be a “luxury” break at a top-notch hotel (with a price to match), one could be forgiven for thinking that the hotel would take care of its guests and leverage its collective group buying power to at least get us decent seats. It was so hot up at the top of the theatre that I almost fainted. Honestly, we would much rather have booked the seats ourselves and paid a higher face value, rather than be short-changed by the hotel trying to up their profit margin on the cost of our Christmas package.

By this time we had pretty much given up on the Roxburghe and decided to skip your Boxing Day dinner to find an open local establishment that could perhaps deliver on better service and quality of food. Ironically, we ended up in a pub on Rose Street that provided us with the best meal of our entire stay. It wasn’t fancy and didn’t claim to be gourmet but it was served in a reasonable amount of time, the servers were friendly and attentive, the background music was Christmassy, and the food was warm, simple, and delicious.

Yes, your four star hotel was upstaged by a pub food. I hope you feel the same way about this as we do – disgusted, over-charged and horribly disappointed.

Final comment on Boxing Day: upon check-in we were asked if we would like to receive a newspaper on Boxing Day morning, and if so which one. We ordered a Daily Mail for both rooms. Only one newspaper was delivered and then only just before noon. When my mother went down to the front desk to ask for her copy, instead of receiving an apology and a newspaper immediately, your representative argued with her about ever having ordered one in the first place, and then made a big deal about going to the concierge to remedy the situation. My mother was so embarrassed, she told the girl to forget it and walked away.

Final morning… the 27th

My parents requested a wake-up call at 5am. 5am came and went. At 5:30am the phone rang for their wake-up call. My Dad looked at the clock and asked the gentleman what time he had ordered the call. He confirmed 5am but simply said, without apology, that he had “missed the slot” and was calling now – 30 minutes late. Further, when my parents came down to the front desk to settle their bill, they asked to confirm the taxi they had booked for 6:30am the night before. The concierge told them that, because the hotel had failed to wake them up at the right time, he had called the cab company and asked the taxi to come 15 minutes later! Unfortunately, they failed to call our airline to ask them to hold them plane also. Unbelievable!



In addition to the above day-by-day disappointments, we would also like to share with you some other feedback about the general quality of care and service we received during our stay:

Rooms

Despite the recent remodel, the rooms were dark and poorly lit with such small windows and inadequate lighting that it was all but impossible to read in your room.

The showers and sinks had a life of their own. It was impossible for any of us in either of our two rooms to have a shower with constant temperature. Despite my consistent efforts to carefully moderate it, the shower would fluctuate wildly from freezing cold to scalding hot, causing me to jump away from the water several times during a shower just to avoid first degree burns (this experience was shared by all four of us each time we showered.) On several occasions during our stay in both rooms, we turned on the cold tap in the sink only to be met with warm water. Despite letting the water run for several minutes, it never cooled down and we were forced to brush our teeth with warm water.

The satellite or cable service on the television also went in and out all the time, interrupting service for 2-3 seconds at a time, several times an hour. The bedside light on one side of our bed would turn off and on sporadically for no reason we could discern.

Service

Service in all your restaurants and lounges was slow and sub-par for a four star hotel. It often took 10-15 minutes to get a server to take your order in the Melrose lounge and a further 15-20 minutes just to get a cup of coffee or hot chocolate delivered – even though the area was all but deserted. Of course, you’ve already read about our specific experiences at different meal times.

All servers were sullen, unwelcoming and clearly poorly trained. They failed to smile and greet us upon first introduction, didn’t get simple drink orders right and were obviously nervous and uncertain of themselves, their hands shaking as they placed coffee cups, glasses, or plates on the table. Between courses they were all but invisible – they didn’t check on us to see if we needed anything, nor did they scan the room as they paced briskly around with their heads down, meaning it was hard to catch their eye when we did need something. They frequently leaned across each of us at the table to deliver food or drinks. Wine glasses were not removed from the table when it was established that wine was not needed, meaning that we counted 12 unused glasses on our table during meals (white wine, red wine, and water for each of the four of us). Servers had trouble finding places on the table for the drinks and food we did order.

Based upon a conversation we had with an Australian waitress working for room and board on our first evening, it appears that the explanation for this poor service may be that many of your regular staff were off for Christmas, replaced instead by inexperienced temporary workers. This in itself is troubling – why host (and charge for) a luxury Christmas break if you do not have the staff to cater to the guests you book at the standard your have claimed to provide?

On-Duty Manager

I mentioned earlier that my mother and father attempted to speak with your Manager about our experiences. Both the Hotel Manager and the Under Manager were both on holiday for Christmas (presumably like the rest of the regular staff) so they were directed to the “on duty” manager. Unfortunately, both of my parents came away from that conversation more angry and upset than when they began.

Not only did your on duty manager have the audacity to argue every single one of their points, he openly doubted their assertions about such things as the water in the shower and the dirty plates at brunch. He told them that nobody else had complained and generally attempted to play down their concerns. No apology was offered for their distress during the course of the conversation and, as of the date of this letter, their concerns were never followed-up on by the management team there.

General Ambience

No Christmas carols playing. Sullen, untrained and unhelpful staff. Low-key festive decorations throughout the hotel… generally the feeling of “Christmas” was absent. This in and of itself was so incredibly disappointing to us.



As you can tell from the litany of problems we experienced during our stay, we were more than disappointed with the Roxburghe hotel. Your hotel questionnaire asked if we had been made to feel “special” during our stay and nothing could be further from the truth. All of these issues put together would have been upsetting enough on any holiday experience but given that they happened at Christmas, the disappointment and sadness is only more so.

My family and I forewent our usual Christmas presents and festivities to pay for what was promised to be a “luxury”, “traditional” Christmas with the Roxburghe, and neither was delivered. We cannot re-create our Christmas but hopefully you and your management team can provide some kind of monetary compensation for all that was lacking.

I look forward to your favourable response.

Scam or Identity Theft?

I just got a call on my cell phone from someone claiming to be from the "DCS", a collection agency for delinquent student loans. He said that my account was about to be sent for wage garnishment due to non payment of $12,900.

He had my name (first and last) but obviously, I told him that he had to have the wrong person, given that all my schooling happened in another country. He asked me for the last four digits of my social security number to confirm my identity but I refused to provide that over the phone. He then said that, without a way to confirm that he had the right/wrong person, I would be liable for the balance. I still refused and told him that, if they had the right person, they would have my address on file and could communicate with me in writing regarding this issue but I was not providing any personal information over the phone.

At the time all I heard in my head was "scam" but now I'm off the phone I'm wondering if my identity has been stolen and someone has run-up student loans in my name. However, how would they then have my cell-phone number?
-----------
EDITED TO ADD:

Verdict: SCAM in order to steal identity.

http://www.ripoffreport.com/reports/0/142/RipOff0142115.htm

Never the less, I plan to keep my eye on my credit report.

3 Breakages, 2 Dinners and a Party

That was the story of my busy weekend.

FRIDAY: Friday evening we spent with our friends Mala and Shomeek, scoffing down delicious home-cooked Indian food. There was some out of this world ground lamb (or beef? I think lamb... Mala can correct me on here), some full-of-flavor rice, and this coconut green-bean concoction that had me literally swooning. Yummy! Thanks Mala!

SATURDAY: Saturday evening we had our 2nd Christmas Party. Yes, I know, I complained that we only had one party to go to this season but it turns out there are three and this was number two. Still no martinis though, so overall enjoyment was somewhat blunted.

SUNDAY: Sunday was a day of breakages.

First there was the DVD player in our family room. Right after I passed up a killer deal in Target in the name of watching my pennies - a $39 upconvert DVD player - my 2nd-hand $25 DVD player finally gave up the goat and decided not to open any more. I think the motor that powers the eject button is done. So, no Polar Express for me while I cooked Shepherd's Pie. :o(

Second, there was the casualty of the cooking process - the glass jar for my blender. It usually resides on my lazy susan and somehow the handle got turned to the outside, meaning that as I turned the table to get to my mixing bowl, it caught the opening of the cupboard and fell on the tile floor, shattering into a thousand, thick glass pieces.

Finally, just as I was sitting down to enjoy the fruits of my labor, I broke the little toe on my right foot. We only have four dining chairs and, with 5 people at the table, I opted to sit on the stool I use for my keyboard. In my eagerness to sidle-up to the table and start downing my shepherds pie, I scooted the stool forward, lifting it up slightly and then putting it down with the full force of my pregnant body right on top of my right toe. There was a crack and a sinking feeling in my stomach as I realized what I had most probably done. I bit my lip until I finished my plate and then stood up - OUCH!

This isn't the first time that I have broken that toe. The last time was about 9 years ago in a drunken stupor, smacking it right into the corner of a wall. Like an idiot (not realizing the depth of the damage), I then put on high-heeled shoes and went to a party for 4 hours. When I woke up in the morning, groggy and hung-over, I thought someone had replaced my right little toe with a blood sausage. It really looked like it had been murdered. It was blue and purple all over. I couldn't walk on it for weeks. That one stupid toe had me limping around like I broke my entire foot.

This time, I'm a little older, a little wiser, and a little more responsible. (Also, there was the tell-tale "crack" to clue me in). I iced my toe all night and, this morning, although it hurts like HELL, it's nowhere near as bad as last time and I can at least walk on it (in a fashion).

So, that was my weekend. Let's hope the week holds a little more luck!

HAD TO post this

Found via friends on FaceBook. I thought this was brilliant. Enjoy!

See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die

A good weekend

I had a good weekend.

It started on Friday night with "Date Night", a luxury of the still-childless. Dinner at Carvers restaurant and then a trip to the movies to see Australia. (Quick movie review - a tad formulaic and OTT but entertaining.)

Saturday morning I had to get up early to go for coffee with a Danish girl and a French girl. I don't think I've mentioned this before but in November I became a volunteer for an organization called EurAuPair, a company which helps U.S. families offer European girls the opportunity to live and study in America for a year, in exchange for in-home child-care. It's a pretty common thing in Europe but hasn't really caught on outside of the big cities in the U.S. As a Community Counselor for the Sacramento Region, I am the liason for the three local host families and their AuPairs. Every month I call the host family to ensure they are happy with their match and meet with the AuPairs as a group, to ensure they are getting the most from their experience. As someone who knows a little something about what it feels like to be a teenager from Europe in the U.S. alone, I thought this would be the perfect opportunity for me to meet new people in the community and indulge my travel/culture lust.

So Saturday was my first AuPair get-together. We kept it simple for our first 'getting to know one-another' session and went to Starbucks, especially since one of the three girls (a German) could not join us this month. I was a little apprehensive about how it would go, given that this is the first time they have met me or each other and that English is a second language for both of them. I mentally made a list of questions to ask them about their experience with their host families, about their homes, their interests, and their impressions of the U.S. I also set a conservative time limite of 45 minutes to an hour for the meeting, in case we ran out of things to talk about.

I needn't have worried. Both girls were outgoing, talkative, and speak wonderful English (putting my high-school French to shame.) We had trouble cutting it short at 90 minutes!

Kim is from a small town in Denmark but was adopted from Korea by her parents when she was 10 months old. She is staying with a Jewish family with two children. Sabrina is from Paris but her cultural heritage is from Algeria and she is a Muslim. She is staying with a Indian Hindu family with four children.

So, sitting around the table we had:

- A Korean Dutch girl living with a Jewish family in the U.S.

- An Algerian-French muslim girl living with a Hindu, Indian family in the U.S.

- and me... a Brit/American.

I mean, how cool is that??? Talk about the meeting of cultures!

We did talk a lot about their home countries and how they compared to their experience in America. I asked them what the most surprising thing about the U.S. was and they both answered the same: "Everything is so BIG! Houses, cars, streets, stores... everything!" If you've been to Europe, you've probably had the reverse experience ("Everything is so small!") so you can probably relate. If you haven't been to Europe, the one thing that is so visually striking between the two continents is the difference between a large, geographically rich country that has developed rapidly in the last 200 years, using more advanced planning techniques and a bunch of little countries with limited space, having developed, higgledy-piggledy like a scrabble board, through thousands of years of religious, cultural, industrial, and technological revolutions. When you visit the U.S. for the first time, it really is the first thing that hits you.

As I said, we talked for 90 minutes and I had a great time learning about their lives back home as well as their plans for the future. It's strange but, although Brits don't really think of themselves as "European" (it's a reverse snobbishness we posess), there definitely were mind-set and experiential similarities between myself and the girls. Little things that you find it hard to put your finger on that always leave me feeling just a hair detatched from Americans sometimes, seemed to come more easily with these girls. We immediately connected and now I'm really excited to see them every month. Who knows, I may end up with a ton of friends scattered around Europe as a result of this! I could cavort around Europe, visiting them and getting insider-tours of European cities and towns. I mean, this really could not be any more 'up my alley' (Britishism) if it tried.

So that was Saturday morning.

The rest of Saturday was pretty chill, doing a little shopping with Hubby and pushing through some of the dreaded laundry as he worked on the nursery. Then, Saturday night we had our one-and-only Christmas party of the season - the party for Joss' office at his manager's house. Of course, I relished my one pre-Christmas opportunity to dress up and had gone out and bought a cute maternity dress. See here...

The party was fun, although somewhat tempered by my inability to sip on a cocktail or two. I did have Hubby pour me half a glass of white wine but it was a tad warm for my tastes and I had trouble getting through half of it. I did get my first snide comment about drinking while pregnant, however. One of Joss' agent friends greeted me by asking me how my wine was. Sounds innocent enough, but tone and the look in his eyes said it all. I replied, with a smile, that it was delicious and asked if I could pour him one too. He and his wife continued to eye me suspiciously for the rest of the night even though I switched to coke early on. Perhaps they thought I spiked it with rum (God, that would have been nice) or were busy 'tsking' me for all the sugar and caffeine I was consuming. Honestly, I give it a big, Valley-Girl, 'Whatever!' My choices, their problem.

Now to Sunday. Sunday morning started with the usual coffee, newspaper and political stimulation via 'This Week with George Stephanopolous' (sigh, my 'other' husband). More laundry, more working on the baby's room, writing Christmas cards etc...

Then in the late afternoon I jumped in the car and headed down to Elk Grove to visit my friend, Joy, for our annual screening of our Christmas favorite "Love Actually". If there's one thing that can really get me in the mood for Christmas, its that movie. Set in London, British humor, British pop music, and a series of parallel storylines that ooze the 'real meaning' of Christmas; it really puts joy in my heart every time I watch it.

We had a great time watching the movie, although we had to fast-forward through the porn scenes for the benefit of Joy's 4-year old daughter. I also had lots of smooches and cuddles with Gabriel, Joy's 8-month old son who sat in the corner of the sofa contentedly, sucking on Cheerios or banging away at some toys. He's just so chunky and cuddly and chill, full of giggles and smiles. It was good for my soul to realize that my son or daughter will be his age next Christmas. I found myself finally thinking about the fun side of parenting as we cuddled-up and watched the movie together.

Thanks Joy for putting the "Joy" of Christmas AND parenting in my heart!

And with that my weekend was over.

Nursery is almost together. Decorating is done (Hubby did a great job) and crib and changing tables are up (but not in place). We just have to get a fan put in the ceiling, get the blinds cut, hem the curtains, and buy a side-table... then we'll be "done, done". I'll be sure to post pics when complete.

And now back to the grindstone. Just under 2 weeks to go before I head back to London for Christmas. Can't wait!

Does this sound like ME?

Got an email this morning from the President of the company I used to work for - I'm still somewhat affiliated with them and still get staff/HR-type emails.

The email invited me to complete a Core Capacities Index evaluation. Since I love personality tests, I jumped right online and did mine.

Here are the results. I'm interested to see if you think it's an accurate description of me. I won't be insulted either way. Just curious how accurate these things are.

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Your Personal Core Capacities Index Results

To describe your unique recipe of Core Capacities, we use a set of four metaphors that correspond to the following foundational Core Capacities:

Builder: Power
Merchant: Inspiration
Innovator: Wisdom
Banker: Knowledge

These metaphors serve as a language to help us describe the characteristics of each Core Capacity. Arranged in a quadrant configuration, the scores in each quadrant give you a quick 'snapshot' of your Core Capacities:

Your Personal Core Capacities IndexTM Snapshot

Your scores indicate you have Merchant/Innovator tendencies.

Your Merchant capacities are balanced by your Innovator secondary capacity set. Your actions are routinely, almost equally, guided by these two capacity sets. In times of distress you will usually rely on the conflict strategies of your dominant capacity set. In less critical conflicts you may use either strategy given the situation.

Your unique dominant Merchant Capacity Set causes you to rely on the following strategies for success and fulfillment:

Your cornerstone core capacity is Inspiration. You are committed to giving and receiving inspiration in all its forms. You are constantly working to know and understand the truth about yourself and others.

You are willing to put yourself at risk in thought and action. Your commitment to others and to your own life is an encouragement to others. You have the ability to help people feel hopeful and courageous. It is important for you to see people and things as they really are. Something new and inspiring everyday is the spice of your life. You seldom feel defeated; You see good potential in most situations. Charm and enthusiasm are part of your arsenal for success. Too much formality is boring and restrictive. You like to trust people and to share yourself with them freely. You enjoy lots of different people and activities. You like a new charge in your life and you like to be the charge in the lives of others. You thrive on new opportunities, especially if you participate in creating the change process. Free and open discussion is a major element in your leadership style. You have a natural enthusiasm and like to be in situations that are fully engaging and energized. Motivating others with your visions and ideas is very satisfying. Making presentations puts zest in your life. You like to work and others enjoy working with you. A core strategy for you is to work effectively with others. Share your knowledge and information with others; You enjoy it and others appreciate it. No potential plan, idea or possibility gets by you. You want to receive good rewards and appreciation for time and energy spent. Nothing feels right when the people you value are distant or are in conflict. You enjoy being a bright light in your world.

Your unique secondary Innovator Capacity Set supports your dominant Merchant Capacity Set.

Your cornerstone core capacity is Wisdom. Understanding and compassion are central to your life strategy.

You pride yourself in seeing and understanding people and situations. You see and understand the relative worth of people and things. Strategic thinking is your forte. Development of effective responses to situations is one of your primary contributions. Seeing potential and opportunity is a primary talent. You strive to cause people and things to function well together. To invent new systems, processes and things is pure pleasure. You like to maintain a good mix of people, activities and things in your life. You like to communicate with visuals and descriptions. You have wit and creativity in your thinking. You enjoy helping people and things work well and consistently together. You never quit. Rapid and clever exchange of ideas is a personal joy and a method of work for you. You prefer to lead people by helping them remember agreements and commitments. You like to consider all the options. Your tastes are varied and diverse. Finding the best solution is one of your primary contributions. You are able to see the ways things are, and you know what to do about it. You are seen as a valuable resource for leading people toward the right ideas and the right direction. Understanding others and working with them is a key asset of yours. You use everything that is available to meet requirements.

Your third level Builder Capacity Set gives you the ability to respond appropriately to a broad spectrum of situations.

Your cornerstone core capacity is Power, the application of pure energy for Good. This primary driver is supported by a strong faith in your own ability to know what to do, your faith that your actions are for the Good, and your faith that once you create change, you will know what to do next.

Your Builder capacities are strong enough to bring balance into your life. Learning to shift your strategy to this capacity set in times of high opportunity or during conflicts will contribute significantly to your success.

Accomplishing tasks now is a primary drive for you. You are practical and willing to face the truth. You pride yourself in knowing what to do. Whatever you do, you do without much hesitation. You act as soon as you know what to do. You like to own those things that are important to you. You are strongly self-motivated. You value straight talk and frank discussion. Things go best for you when you have responsibility for results. Starting new projects and ventures makes you happy. You like to set things in motion. You make up your mind quickly and intuitively. If you can, you deal with things one at a time. You are not afraid to bring things to an end; When you're done, you're done. It is important for you to show good results for invested energy. People work harder and more things happen when you set the pace. There are few situations in which you feel inadequate. You use your power, physical and personal, to get what you want.

Your fourth level Banker Capacity Set gives you the opportunity to live a balanced and successful life.

You do not rely significantly on Banker capacities to create success.

You like to be the one who knows; being right and being able to prove it is important to you. Your knowledge is generally available to others. You care deeply when situations or the behaviors of people are unfair, or when your knowledge is used incorrectly by others. You like to understand the details of situations and issues. It is important to reduce possible risks by questioning decisions and plans. You enjoy being the source of information and proven methodology. Once started, you don't give up easily. The reliability of your words and actions is critical to your sense of self respect. You surround yourself with facts, figures and data. When things get messy, you may get testy.

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Your Personal Core Capacities Index Scores

For decades, quadrant-based systems have been used by psychologists in an attempt to generally categorize or 'box' people into groups with rigid boundaries. Unfortunately, this doesn’t work — human beings are too complex. Quantifying a person as a 'Builder' or even a 'Builder-Merchant' does not provide enough information. A more granular scoring system is necessary in order to provide meaningful results.

The CCI scoring system is based upon a scale in each quadrant that ranges from 0 to 36. The score in each quadrant indicates a relative strength of that Core Capacity compared to the other quadrants. Generally, a person is strongly inclined toward one Core Capacity strategy with a second Core Capacity strategy also being a very important part of their make-up. But, the balance of the scores is very important and has a compelling effect on how you will engage tasks in your day-to-day work. Your CCI scores are:

Builder 18
Merchant 23
Innovator 21
Banker 10

The balance of your CCI scores describes a unique strategy you naturally have for both success and conflict. It is not possible to act in alignment with more than one capacity set at a time. Most people routinely switch between their dominant and secondary strategies unconsciously. Learning to be conscious about this switch between Core Capacity strategies provides greater social dexterity and leads to greater success. Learning to switch to the strategies driven by your Tertiary and Minor Capacity sets can create dramatic improvements in your life.

Your Personal Core Capacities IndexTM Type Scores

While the Core Capacity scores are important, an additional level of insight can be gained by considering how the Core Capacities work in combination with each other. These combinations are called Core Capacities Types. The Core Capacities Type scoring system is based upon a scale in each of six categories that ranges from 0 to 72. The score in each category indicates a relative strength of that Core Capacity Type compared to the other Types. Your Core Capacities Type scores are:

Intuitive 41
Cognitive 31
Creative 44
Practical 28
Community 33
Independent 39

The Core Capacities Type scores are derived from a unique combination of two of the Core Capacities. Typically, a person will find themselves described mostly in the dominant/secondary Core Capacities Type, but some of the qualities will be found in the other Types as well. Again, the balance of the scores is very important and has a compelling affect on how you will engage tasks in your day-to-day work.