Off again!

I'm off again. This time to Dallas on Monday.

This trip is 1/2 business, 1/2 pleasure. It just so happened that one my good friends is getting married in the Dallas area the weekend after my work conference. So, I'm staying on, making sales appointments, going to bachelorette parties, attending the wedding, and then flying on home.

And I JUST put the suitcase away....

Sniff

Today was a sad day. Today my friend, Joy, had her goodbye lunch. The photo above is from the joint lunch we had for Joy's goodbye and another colleague's birthday at Boudin Bakery - we basically took over 1/2 the restaurant and hogged some tables for an hour, much to the irritation of the other lunch diners. Joy, incidentally, is in the front row, second from right.

I was privileged to have Joy as part of my team when I managed the marketing department. As a friend and a colleague, she has taught me so much with her open heart, and made me laugh almost daily with her quick-witted comments. I know I am not alone when saying that the department (the company) will not be the same without her in it.

But every cloud has a silver lining and this one has a couple. Firsy Joy is pregnant with her second child, due in April. If he/she is anywhere near as cute as her first child, it's going to be Aunty Shell smooches all over. (Well, ok, I'm going to smooch the new baby either way but I can't imagine him/her NOT being cute.) Second, now that we no longer are governed by the rules of office politics, we are free to embark upon a different phase of our wonderful and unexpected friendship. I can't wait.

But still, it will be sad to walk into that department and see her cubicle empty. Very sad indeed.

Backyard Wildlife

Due to some technical difficulties, this post should have happened on Wednesday but today is Sunday and I've only just managed to convince all the appropriate technological components to get my photos posted online for you.

Aaaaanyways, this happened on Wednesday, a beautiful, sunny, warm day. The sort of day that makes you forget all those awful 100+ degree temperatures in Sacramento (well, almost.) The day was made even more beautiful because I work from home and was able to spent my lunch hour hanging out with my dogs in my new, big 'ole back yard.

Although our lot is around 1/3 of an acre, the back 1/4 of the back yard is actually an easement that leads down to a creek. It's one of the reasons why we bought this house: there's a good couple hundred feet between us and the next house and they're are barely visible because of the multitude of trees inbetween. Sit on our deck and you feel like you're in the middle of a forest. We can't really do anything with the space (which is probably good because neither can our neighbors) but it's accessible to us as a little "extra bit" of yard, through a gate.

So, there I was walking along our ever-so-stylish chainlink fence (which will eventually reach a the local dump when we have enough money to replace it) and I see something walking around in my "extra" bit of yard leading down to the creek.

Yes, it's a TURKEY! Click on the picture to see more photos. There wasn't just one of them, there was a whole family. Ten or so turkeys just hanging out beyond the fence in my backyard. Pretty cool. huh?

Laughing myself off my chair

This is priceless: a test that is supposed to help you evaluate if you have a personality disorder.

Here is my score:


Disorder and Rating
Paranoid: Low
Schizoid: Low
Schizotypal: Low
Antisocial: Low
Borderline: Low
Histrionic: Low
Narcissistic: High
Avoidant: Low
Dependent: Low

Aparently, I am Narcissistic. Not just middling sort of way but in big ole wapping amounts. This is absolutely hilarious to me for some reason, probably because it's thoroughly ridiculous.

I mean, for those of you who know me, does this sound anything like me?

Narcissistic personality disorder is characterized by self-centeredness. Like histrionic disorder, people with this disorder seek attention and praise. They exaggerate their achievements, expecting others to recongize them as being superior. They tend to be choosy about picking friends, since they believe that not just anyone is worthy of being their friend. Narcissists tend to make good first impressions, yet have difficulty maintaining long-lasting relationships. They are generally uninterested in the feelings of others and may take advantage of them.

Symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder:

• Requires excessive praise and admiration
• Takes advantage of others
• Grandiose sense of self-importance
• Lack of empathy
• Lying, to self and others
• Obsessed with fantasies of fame, power, or beauty

Being the self-aware person I am (or like to think I am, maybe I'm really all these things and so out of it I can't see it), I'll cop to sometimes having a lack of empathy. But the others... please! Goodness knows what answers led them to this.

Try it yourself and let me know if you have any new personality disorders.

Thanks to Hotel California for the day's biggest giggle.

And now for something you'll either violently agree or disagree with...

Feel free to have either reaction.

I got this from my dad in an email. I personally have to say "Right on!" Of course, whether or not it really happened is anybody's guess.

An incident occurred in a supermarket recently, when the following was witnessed:

A Muslim woman dressed in a Burkha (A black gown & face mask) was standing with her shopping in a queue at the checkout.

When it was her turn to be served, and as she reached the cashier, she made a loud remark about the English Flag lapel pin, which the female cashier was wearing on her blouse.

The cashier reached up and touched the pin and said, "Yes, I always wear it proudly. My son serves abroad with the forces and I wear it for him".

The Muslim woman then asked the cashier when she was going to stop bombing and killing her countrymen, explaining that she was Iraqi.

At that point, a Gentleman standing in the queue stepped forward, and interrupted with a calm and gentle voice, and said to the Iraqi woman: "Excuse me, but hundreds of thousands of men and women, just like this ladies son have fought and sacrificed their lives so that people just like YOU can stand here, in England , which is MY country and allow you to blatantly accuse an innocent check-out cashier of bombing YOUR countrymen".

"It is my belief that if you were allowed to be as outspoken as that in Iraq, which you claim to be YOUR country, then we wouldn't need to be fighting there today".

"However - now that you have learned how to speak out and criticise the English people who have afforded you the protection of MY country, I will gladly pay the cost of a ticket to help you pay your way back to Iraq ".

"When you get there, and if you manage to survive for being as outspoken as what you are here in England, then you should be able to help straighten out the mess which YOUR Iraqi countrymen have got you into in the first place, which appears to be the reason that you have come to MY country to avoid."

Apparently the queue cheered and applauded.

IF YOU AGREE... Pass this on to all of your proud English friends..

So, where DO we put them?

This was one of those things that I meant to blog about last week but just didn't have the time.

There's been a lot in the news in the last year or so about sex offenders being run out of neighborhoods due to Megan's Law and Jessica's Law, the latter of which requires life-long monitoring of sex offenders and places certain restrictions upon where they can live.

Now Human Rights Watch has a new report, that says these registries are inhumane and don't protect anyone from crime because the old adage, "once a sex offender, always a sex offender" isn't actually true. Plus, you can end up on these registries for offenses as mild as public urination and as prevalent as having consensual teenage sex.

This sparked an NPR on-air topic last week about the mounting issue of sex-offender rehabilitation and habitation. Do you use these registries and how do you make decisions based upon them?

Interestingly, the topic did a little 180 and started to focus on the impact these laws are having on the sex offenders: Where can they live without being run-out? What happens if they can't get a job, can't find a home, and end up the streets?

Ok, right now most of you are thinking exactly what every good citizen should think: Who the heck cares what impact these laws have on them? They shouldn't offend in the first place! Which is reasonable and appropriate. However, the knock-on effects of these laws don't always fit into our black-and-white ideals.

The question becomes, how do we track a growing contingent of homeless offenders? And how does their dire situation affect the choices they make after being convicted?

Here, for instance, is a story of this exact conundrum from an LA Times reporter: a recently released sex offender thrown-out by every landlord of every place he's tried to settle in, ending up living on a Ventura river bed, and being watched in a nearby van by a security guard from a private firm hired by the county!

In the NPR segment, one sex offender talked about how many like him get put back in jail just because there's nowhere else for them to go. Faced with the streets or jail, many fellow offenders he knows have scraped together the money to buy an entirely new identity, free from Megan and Jessica's laws. He himself has been approached by several individuals offering him a new identity and says that, if he had the money, he would seriously consider it.

Somebody tell me this isn't a problem!

So, my question is: where do we put them? "Not on my street!" is a fair but thoroughly impractical answer. "In a house for sex offenders!" sounds great but where do these places go, and who is willing to pay for them via higher taxes?

Any thoughts?

Oh my how times have changed!

THE PAUL FAMILY VISIT

Mala and me with our "babies"




Trying to get everyone to face forward was a feat too large for one evening.

It used to be that dinner with friends consisted of a few martinis and idle conversation, complaining about work. Now, with friends rapidly breeding kids and us growing our kanine family, things are a little different.

Last night we had our first real dinner guests, Mala, Shomeek, and Evani. Evani is just six months old and a real talker; I honestly think she'll be chattering away long before she puts one foot in front of the other.

With dogs and babies vying for our rapt attention, the evening turned into a crawling-around-on-the-floor fest, snapping photos, fending off puppy-teeth, and soothing a tired baby. In the middle somewhere, I think we got to chat about grown-up stuff like... um... well...

Seriously, I exaggerate to make my point but it is funny how quickly life can change. In all honesty it was wonderful to host friends, cuddle babies, and watch the puppy play. What was even nicer was that there really was no work to complain of. Mala is now dancing and designing her way through her ideal day and I work from home, free of office stresses and politics. For all the changes that have happened, it was obvious that each one had brought us closer to where we want to be in life

That's one heck of a great way to end a Monday evening!

Top Gear in Alabama...

Seen on the plane on my way to England... almost made me fall of my seat w/ laughter. (Except of course there's hardly enough room to breathe, let alone fall.)

This program is a British institution and plays on BBC America. If you knew the back-story of this particular show, you'd find it EVEN funnier.

Anyway... ENJOY! :)

A trip down memory lane

My parents have a stall in a small market near wherw I grew up in England and they are selling a whole bunch of 45s - 5 for £1. In a moment of nostalgia, I poured through the collection (many of which were mine as a kid) and amongst other things found an original Michael Jackson, Thriller (which I nabbed back in anticipation of his passing) and this nugget from the Eurovision song contest of 1976. The Brotherhood of Man were Britain's entry and they became a firm favorite of my family throughout the rest of the decade.

Wonderful.

In Liverpool, England, today they buried an 11 year old schoolboy named Rhys Jones.

Rhys was shot in the neck Aug. 22 by a youth on a bicycle as he played soccer with friends in a well-heeled housing development that borders one of Liverpool's poorer neighborhoods. Police believe he was likely an innocent victim of a feud between street gangs.

With the homicide rate involving guns around 4 for every 100,000 people in the U.S., stories such as this barely register as a blip on the regional scale in America, let alone being featured in the national news. Yet today, Rhys' funeral made national news headlines in the U.K., placing his memorial ahead of news that Opera legend, Pavarotti, had died.

What's more, the impact on Rhys' community demonstrated to me that, while Britain definitely has some work to do, the UK has a long way to go before it becomes as desensitized to a daily-dose of drive-bys, as many of us are in the U.S. (even after taking into consideration the difference in population and size of the two countries.)

More than 2,500 Liverpudlians showed up to mourn this 11-year old boy, clapping to honor his life and the strength of his family as his coffin passed by - through city streets and all the way up to the altar in the city's cathederal.

The comment from Britain's unelected PM, Mr. Brown was: "Guns in America are accepted but we don't want that for Britain. We want to get guns out of every community."

So, while my parents bemoan the state of my home country and claim Britain is not a safe place to be, it's times like these that I get a little jolt of relative reality. Because while the U.S. constitution ensures that you'd have to pry guns from the average American's "cold dead hands" (to quote the late and not-so-great Mr. Heston), the shooting of one schoolboy is still making national news in England- and thank GOD for that.

Oh! A Happy p.s.

... we rented the townhouse and to someone who LOVES the color of the walls. So poo on Karen.

Our new renters have already moved in, so keen were they to leave behind the soulless apartment cream of their previous abode.

And so our quest for World Slumlord Domination begins...

British Rants is on vacation

In, of all places, Britain!

I will post as often as I can but I will be in Sweden for a few days and probably without internet connection.

TTYL.

Foiled Rants

As you know, we are trying to rent our townhome. While it's taking a little longer than we hoped, overall we've had quite a few inquiries and, for the most part, have been attracting the kind of renter we want.

Right now we're listed on line at SacBee.com and Rentals.com, the latter of which posts your listing on a bunch of other rental sites.

I checked my email this morning to see if we had any new inquiries and was excited to find that I did. However, this is what it said:

"don't show that staircase as your first shot, it's dreadful! paint it a nuetral color and show the patio first! you'll have a renter in no time!"

(Lack of capitalization hers, not mine.)

This 'pearl' of wisom came from a Karen Cresse, who was kind enough to provide her email and phone number.

Now, this just rubbed me up the wrong way. So, I decided to retort. I thought I would share my response with y'all.

Dear Karen,

Thank you for your advice on the color of the walls at our townhome.

Are you looking for a rental in our area or is your life just so empty that you feel it necessary to send disparaging emails to strangers?

Since we have had many inquiries on our townhome, have three applications in-hand, and many people who have welcomed the warm color vs. the soulless, apartment off-white, I think we will choose to ignore your subjective and insulting advice.

I wish you luck in finding a rental with apartment-cream walls (if in fact you are looking at all)… there’s plenty of them out there competing for the bottom-dollar renter.

So there!

Unfortunately, the woman didn't even have the guts to back up her remarks with a valid email address and my retort returned within seconds as undeliverable.

So, Karen Cresse with an 818 area-code, take your unwelcome remarks and stuff them where the sun don't shine.

This, by the way, is the shot of which she spoke. Honestly, it's ok with me if you don't like the color. Color is subjective anyway. I just thought it was ridiculous that she took the time to email a complete stranger to tell him/her that she didn't like the color of the wall. I mean, seriously, move-on. You don't like it, live somewhere else.

My blog travels well

I finally scrolled down to look at the little map of the world that is supposed to show where my visitors come from and I have to say I'm pretty impressed. Considering I get comments from only 2-3 people on any sort of basis, I'm covering a pretty wide expanse of the globe!

Who are you people? Why don't you comment? How did you find me?

Perhaps you reached me by accident, were bored to death and surfed on to my imminently more eloquent and interesting fellow bloggers, Hotel California babe, and The Gerli Life chick for instance.

Particularly, I would like to hear about those people who have visited from:

• Ireland
• Argentina
• Iran
• Switzerland
• Spain
• Malaysia
• New Zealand
• China (I think, Hong Kong specifically)

Oooooooooo... I've come over all multicultural all of a sudden.

Of course...

...I would like to clarify that ALL people are not rude and stupid. Sadly too large a number seem to be but I know all the polite, smart ones! :)

People are just rude... and stupid.

I've has this one sales prospect in Florida on the hook for a few months now and honestly, I hope they DON'T buy our product.

I gave them a free demo of our product and despite the fact that they are only a small account, spent 90 minutes providing them with a free webinar so they could understand how to use it. That time doesn't even include the countless emails and voicemails over 3-4 weeks we exchanged just trying to set up the webinar; emails where I would provide him with several dates that work for me and then he wouldn't get back to me until after those dates passed, so we'd have to start that process all over again. (We did that like 3 times.)

The webinar was akin to a bad migraine, by the way, as he disappeared down rabbit holes, asked stupid questions, went off on long tirades that demonstrated a basic lack of understanding about what the product even does, talked over everything I said, and then asked questions about things I had already explained but he had missed (because he liked the sound of his own voice better.)

After the demo, however, he said he was ready to go. "Send me a contract!" he said. So I did.

And then all went dark. I called but got no response. This was all before I left on my honeymoon in May. When I got back I checked back in with him and he said he just didn't understand the program and didn't think his agents would use it.

Ummm... huh?

Seriously, those of you who know the product I sell know that, while some people take longer than others to learn the ins-and-outs of it, it's essentially extremely easy to use and, for someone in the industry (which this guy is, he says), it's purpose is elementary. And I promise you, it wasn't my lack of sales training.

So, he wanted to schedule another webinar with me and some others in his organization, so I could explain it to them and get their agreement to purchase. Of course, I was reluctant, given how small the account is, how much time I had spent already with him, and how painful the last webinar was. But I agreed because, you know, this is my job and commission is my mortgage payment and every little counts.

We scheduled webinar #2 for last week. Two days before, he had his assistant call me to ask me if we can do it at another time on the same day. I agreed because I didn't have anything else scheduled. The day before, the assistant called and tried to reschedule again but this time asks for a time where I already had a scheduled call, so we decide to keep the second agreed-upon time. Then the morning of the webinar, she calls to cancel and says we'll try for next week (now this week.)

Today was the webinar, supposedly at 11am my time (he's on the east coast.) At 8:05 am Pacific my phone lights up like a Christmas tree. Unfortunately, I'm in the bathroom at that time and have to let it go to voicemail. By the time I get back to my phone 2-3 minutes later, I have FOUR curt voicemails and two emails from him asking me where I am. Yes, he misread 11am PACIFIC as 11am EASTERN. Because, you know, Pacific and Eastern look so similar in an email.

Like a true professional, despite being dressed in my sweaty workout gear, I throw my barking, yapping dogs in the back yard and jump online. I just wanted this guy out of my hair today so I can move forward into the weekend with positive vibes.

I just got off the webinar and I'm about ready to tear my hair out.

There was 5 people in the room with him and they proceeded to talk to each other the entire time I was talking, and not in whispters. Again, my contact frequently talked over me, asked rabbit-hole questions (that I had already provided that answer to if only he had been listening), and behaved like an insolent 5 year old.

What's worse, no one person was "at the helm" so everyone was talking to each other and asking questions of me at the same time. One person would ask me to show them something and then someone else would disagree and tell me to do something else. Then a third person would disagree with both of them or argue the basic validity of the point they were trying to make. Internal fighting would ensue, leaving me with my head in my hands at my desk.

It got to the point where, a couple of times, I just stopped talking and listened to them bicker amongst themselves. After about 2-3 minutes it would go quiet in the room as they realized that I wasn't talking anymore. I gave it a few seconds and then I said "Are you ready for me to continue now?" which illicited multiple responses and further back-and-forth banter.

At 9am I wrapped it up, having only skimmed 40% of what I would normally talk about, and told them I had another meeting to attend. I told them I would reactivate their demo so, again, they could play with it to their heart's content. At which point my contact asked me if I could do some of the custom programming we had discussed, before I sent the demo over. When I told him that I needed a signed contract to do any work on his behalf, he ignored me and continued to reiterate his point about why the programming needed to be done (a point which was not under dispute.) Again, in-fighting ensued.

"Ok guys, well, thanks for your time. I'll send you an email with your demo account details," I said and put the phone down.

I was nice but I was getting to the point where I couldn't be any longer.

I pray to god they dissapear off my prospect list. If they're like this BEFORE they sign up, can you imagine how much time they'll waste once they become a client.

NO THANK YOU.

Now I'm going to take a shower and attempt an attitude readjustment for the day.

Here she is!

MaggieDay1 046
Originally uploaded by Travel Vixen

Here is our little Maggie, who had a pretty good first day. See more photos here.

While Frankie continues to be determined not to have anything to do with his new sister, lil sis is coming on in leaps and bounds.

We've had some accidents in the house but for the most part she has been doing her "business" in one spot on the yard - even, in a couple of instances, taking herself there!

She is a little time waster, though. Trying to get anything done while maintaining constant vigilance over her butt and mouth - both of which are equally a threat to house and home - is nigh-on impossible. I guess I forgot how hard this was the first time around, or perhaps only being 24 at the time I didn't care as much. Anyway, I can understand how mothers of new babies say they don't achieve very much in a day... after all this is just a puppy!

Despite this, she is a joy to watch. We bought her a little ball with a bell inside it and she chases it around the floor, pouncing on it whenever it gets out of her control. If she could speak I think she'd be saying "Gotcha!"

She hasn't given up on Frankie, either, even managing to follow him upstairs this afternoon (poor Frankie, his last private Idaho disappearing before his eyes.) Getting down wasn't as easy: a couple of times I thought her back legs were going to flip over her head!

So far so good... keep your fingers, toes, eyes, legs, arms and any other limb capable of moving, crossed for continued successes in the house of chaos and confusion...

Over and out.

A momentary truce

Puppy on seat beside me to the right, on couch. Dog on couch beside me to left, on couch. I am the Berlin Wall.

All this is based on Maggie's continued snoozing, of course. If only a third person were here to capture this.

New digs... new digger

We're in.

Whew!

Finally, everything got pulled out of the townhouse on Saturday and thrown into the new house. Pull-and-throw pretty much sums up the process, since it's now Wednesday and, while we've definitely dug our way out of quite a bit, we're still mountain high in unpacked boxes and miscellaneous bits-and-bobs all over the place. About the only area fully functional is the kitchen, which gives you some idea of where my priorities lie!

Part of the problem is/was that none of our closets (aside from a small one in the guest room) have any kind of hardware in them to enable us to hang or stack anything in them. No rods, no shelves... nuttin'. So, Hubbie spent most of Sunday (bless him - this is why I love him) building closet-maid shelving and rails in one of our two master bedroom closets, just so I can hang some stuff. Of course, I haven't really had time to unpack anything to put in there; hopefully tonight.

Also, up until yesterday we didn't have an internet connection or landline phone. While AT&T had activated our new phone number, something was up with the wiring in the house and we couldn't get a dial tone out of any of the sockets. Fortunately for my working situation, a hapless neighbor had left their home wireless network without a security key, so I was able to jack their connection for a few days. Whoever you are, neighbor... THANK YOU! The AT&T guy came yesterday to rectify the situation and we're now full operational. I have to say that the DSL is super fast, so well worh the wait.

Also, to add to the situation of total chaos and confusion, we picked up our new puppy last night. Maggie is her name and she's another black cocker spaniel, just like my existing 8-year old dog, Frankie (Maggie and Frankie, for those of you who are curious, are the names of my maternal grandparents who I was very close to).

We bought her straight from the breeder (she's barely 8 wks old) and took Frankie with us to pick her up last night - Frankie in the back seat and Maggie in her crate next to him. Needless to say, much growling, howling, yapping, and barking accompanied us home, but in general we were impressed with Frankie's composure.

You see, Frankie is not really a dog-loving dog. (This is the part when you wonder why on earth, then, we would see fit to bring another dog into our house. What can I say? We're gluttons for punishment!) My sister-in-law has a dog and my mother-in-law had a dog that not so long ago passed away. They were/are both German Shepherds and every time Frankie is/was in close proximity with either of them, he would turn into his very own impersonation of Kujo - growling, baring teeth etc... I have no idea why. I exposed him to other people's dogs when he was a pup and he was fine. I don't know why or when his tolerance of other dogs changed but for some reason it did and I think the only way to "cure" or manage it at this point is with some very expensive one-on-one dog training with an expert.

My theory, however, was that a smaller dog (in this case a puppy) would pose less of a physical threat to him. By and large, I have so far been right. (I'm touching LOTS of wood at my desk right now.) His reaction has been one of, mostly, indifference and denial. He just doesn't want anything to do with her. She, however, is ready to be his BFF.

The resulting, entertaining spectacle is a puppy, as small as your arm from your wrist to elbow, falling over herself to chase a 35lb dog who, whenever she gets within 5 feet, turns tail and bolts in a completely different direction. Of course, Maggie thinks this is all a great game, and proceeds to pursue Frankie in earnest, often falling up or down the steps on our deck or in our family room in the process.

The cat-and-mouse game (or in this case pup-and-dog) basically continued last night until Frankie realized that he could go places Maggie couldn't... yet. So, Frankie has become an upstairs dog for now. Hubbie practically had to drag him down this morning!

Maggie had a good night overall, only waking up and yapping once from her little crate. We ignored her and she went back to sleep. Unfortunately, that yap probably had something to do with the poop that Hubbie found in there this morning when he came down to let her out. Otherwise, we've only had a couple of little pee-pees in the house; mostly we've been able to get her to 'go' on her training pad on the deck.

Right now I've blocked her off in the kitchen, just so I can shower and get some stuff done... something which she wasn't best pleased about. Unfortunately, I left my camera in the kitchen with photos of her on it. So, you'll have to wait for cute pup photos. She's currently sleeping; a state I'm in no hurry to get her out of.

So, basically, stay tuned for more hilarity in the house of chaos and confusion...

Just lil ole me and e?

Is 'e' my only reader? :(